It's been a while since I blogged....

but, I'm feeling a lot brighter...so wanted to write it down (so I can come back to it)....

I went to bed...couldn't sleep (got a rotten cold)... but was just laying there thinking about things..

I am aware that there is a long way to go yet... but my emotions seem to have settled a bit these past couple of weeks... I will deal with the practical issues as and when they arise, and hopefully with far less emotion than I was six weeks ago...

You know.... looking back at how I was nearly three months ago... I can see that I have moved on a little, as many wise

I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me this way'.......

the hurt - the anger - the sadness - the confusion -

who am I?...where am I going?.......what will I do?......

will this ever

.....................I WILL stop crying!!!!!!!

I am waiting for that day.......jeeeez.... just one whole day without bursting into tears at the most inappropriate times....

Went back to work on Monday after a weeks hols..... "how are you?".... that's it - away I go!!!!!

The strange thing is I am not a 'crying' sort of person.... and I usually pretty much 'just get on with it'..... this feeling is totally alien to me....

Walking around the supermarket the other day....there they were again.... walking down the frozen food aisle.... tears (jesus, where did that come from!!!!)

I don't like this