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Sep 15
2008
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BlandPosted by Rani4 in dealing with emotions, breaking up, affairs and cheating |
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He's been nice to me lately. It's not perfect, but I do appreciate it anyway.
But I find that the niceness is not enough to make me ‘happy', and the nastiness - when it comes - is not enough to make me ‘angry'.
I am finding that I have lost my passion. I used to have so much passion. I had a passion for life. But now I find everything is just bland.
Nothing tastes of anything. I eat because I have to. I sleep when I cannot stay awake. I enjoy nothing. I feel nothing. Everything is just bland.
I am not happy he's being nice. I am not angry he still blames me for his affair. I am a little sad. I am very sad, in fact, that it will end up in divorce, but it is a quiet calm sadness, not a passionate one.
He did break my heart. Did he break my spirit?? I wonder.
He certainly killed the joy in me. I had such joy in life in general and in little things in particular - I used to find joy in everything. And there was a little fire raging in me, sometimes when I saw some injustice, sometimes when I saw someone hurt. But now.. nothing. it is just all bland.
Everything is just so bland.
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marriaa
said:
| September 15, 2008 | ||
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hi rani babe, it is all part of divorce ,I am sure your flame will be burning brighter than before even though you cannot believe it now.Your whole does take a batterring but we are tougher than what we think we are .you are not alone ,we will all support each other and we will reach the end of this nasty journey but not as fast as we wish. look after yourself xxxxxx |
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