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Sep 14
2008
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Well this morning I did the 'big' thing, and went with my children to get their mother birthday cards/presents.
Boy, it was like eating thistles, as I used to enjoy going with my kids to get her something, but it pained me this morning. I noticed my sons' mood change, he was acting like he was in trouble. He's 10, so I just told him that this was really hard for me, that it was nothing he was doing wrong. I also told him that I was doing this for them, my children. He seemed to understand and we had a hug. I just wish I could hide it better, but I can't at the moment. Meanwhile my daughter skipped along, seemingly oblivious, well she does take after my STBX!
And worst bit is, although I tried not to, I cared about what she got. They'd bought her the cards and a couple of 99p trinkets, and said that was enough. But I looked at them and thought 'well that's a bit crap' even though they were pleased with them. So I took them to BHS to look in the gift section, and they chose something between them. We came home and I wrapped it, thinking that I don't really want to do this, but I did.
And the title of the blog? A line from a Smiths song, the lyrics of which, I thought about sending her in a homemade card. I won't though.
THE SMITHS - Unhappy Birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)
Loved and lost
And some may say
When usually it's Nothing
Surely you're happy
It should be this way ?
I say "No, I'm gonna kill my dog"
And: "May the lines sag, may the lines sag heavy and deep tonight xxx"
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)
Loved and lost
And some may say
When usually it's Nothing
Surely you're happy
It should be this way ?
I said "No"
And then I shot myself
So, drink, drink, drink
And be ill tonight
From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Oh, unhappy birthday
Behind
Behind
Behind
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JJ50
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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That's a great song I should imagine it was a very difficult task for you to help kids buy a present you sound like a loving caring father and it makes you the better person for doing it bet a lot of dads would'nt have Take Care JJ xx |
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IKNOWNOW
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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I have blogged about the same thing Heath. My ex has never returned the gesture though and I doubt he ever will. My children have to rely on my parents to take them shopping to buy me birthday and christmas presents. I too, spent time over what to buy their father, not because I have any lingering feelings for him but because they are gifts from his children. It is so hard show enthusiasm towards buying him presents. Fathers Day, one of my daughter's chose a "best dad in the universe" thing for her dad's car. That pained me to buy, deep down even she knows that statement will never be true, but she lives in hope I guess. She finds it hard knowing he is not the dad he could or should be. Your children will remember you for doing things like buying their mum presents. Hopefully she will respond and say thank you and return the gesture on your birthday. We have seen christmas, his birthday and fathers day now and he has not once said thank you. I still do it though as it is for the children, not him. How ever much it hurts inside you should be proud of yourself for doing what is best for the children. Take care xx Sarah xx |
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Goodman01
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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Heath, I think these days do get easier, but I am not sure when, my wedding aniv and her birthday are on the same day, I got her a card and something from the kids this year, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I was supposed to have the children, but my daughter was ill so I only had my son. No card, no pressie, no nothing, I dont care if she doesnt give me anything, but to forget to get the chlildren a card for me is not nice, and who is she to tell me that I cant have my daughter because she is ill, as if I cant look after her! Any way, as much as it hurts, its like going through motions, just being nice and keeping the peace, and all that, had it over with a smile an save your tears for yourself... GM |
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Donnylass
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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Hey Heath, I wish I had known about that song when it was scumbags birthday back in Feb. He was still living at home then, but staying out 'with friends' most nights. He did put his birthday cards up-inc one from his new 'friend' which was rather crude-suggesting wild sex!!! Inside she wrote 'Let's get this party started'. He couldn't understand why I took it down!!! I might see if I can get one from 'Moonpig' with those words on for next year  |
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Heath
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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Yes, it is good song, and this is first time I could send it to someone and mean it in 21 years of knowing the song. I thought about picking the kids up with it playing on the car stereo (I'll be picking them up on her birthday) But she wouldn't be affected by it, and I'd look a bit of an idiot frankly, so as tempting as it is, no! I wonder if she'll see some of my influence in her birthday present, I mean the kids wouldn't really think 'ah yes, BHS' They did however choose it from the selection on their own. Goodman, you are obviously the bigger person as, as I found out today, effectively buying someone you don't really like a present is tough, no matter how many times you tell yourself 'it's for the kids, it's for the kids' And Sarah, my son bought a coaster which had 'best mum' on it with 'you're sweet' & 'you're gorgeous' etc on there too. Ha, that will only fan the flames of her delusion, but at the same time a sweet thing for a 10 year boy to buy for his mum. I got something for fathers day BTW, so she ain't a total cow. If you want to hear the Smiths song above, go here http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kVLrA0yCtP4 It wasn't a single, so it's home made video. |
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