Some great news:-D

Wow, I had said before my life changes direction every few hours at the moment. Well after his declaration of his way or the highway which I said in your dreams matey to and then told him if he was to stand any chance of working things out then he and the bartart couldn't even be friends, I also said I needed space and didn't want to see him - so last night (without telling me) he went to see her and told her he was going to work it out with me and would not see her anymore even in a friend capacity. He said she cried as she really wanted a future with him. And before you say how do I know what happened, I do believe him on this one. He came around really late last night as he said he was very sad and needed a cuddle. Ok I was thinking I don't really need to hear you are sad to lose a close friend but then thought hey actually he is talking to me about his emotions not her!! So I cuddled him and he stayed, we talked lots and he is looking forward to our 1st date on friday night. We are going to try romntic and hand holding, right back to basics. No rushing into anything. I need to feel secure and trust him, which will take time. But og god do I feel nervous, what if I put emotion back into it and it goes wrong again.

I still feel odd as I was actually sad for the bartart too, she was really upset as she wanted a future with him and he's come back to his wife. Not sure why I feel sad for her as she nearly ruined my life and the past few months have been the worst in my life because of her but I still feel sorry for her. But good lesson for her, don't go for a married man, if he will date you whilst married it'll come bite you on the butt. Hopefully she has learnt her lesson and next time will go for a single guy. Odd thing is though she knew we were trying to work it out as I had told her, she knew he had stayed at mine but she still wouldn't let go and kept on trying to get him away from me. So maybe she is a nasty person, but still feel sorry for her.

 So need to speak to him and sol tomorrow, I still think I'll finish divorce so have security,  I think would feel safer if finances sorted, I suppose that comes down to trust. Not sure yet if he wants to put it on hold or what, need to discuss this.

So wikipeeps, fingers, toes, legs and arms crossed please, I will take things slowly and plan B (new job in oct, meet new people etc etc) is still going ahead, but it looks as if my husband will be joining me in plan B. No rushing to move in together, going to take it as if we had just met...........time, fun, romance, trust building.

And thank you so much all you wonderful people for seeing me through these awful dark days, I hope my life will now start to go up again. It'll be slow and I guess small setbacks will seem huge as so much has happened but this is what I wanted. I not going anywere, still staying here, my turn to hug people when they low and provide the tissues in chat as so many of you did for me on so many occasions. 

God I am frightened though, what if it doesn't work?

xxxx