A Beautiful Sunset or Have I got Too Much Time on My Hands?

Does anyone else get a sort of manic euphoria after the initial shock of being told their ex to be wants a divorce? Yesterday I watched an absolutely stunning sunset, the clouds were pink and fluffy against an azure sky which turned to violet as the light faded. I thought life really is worth living even if I do lose my wife, our home and our dog.

To some extent she had set the tone earlier in the day. She seems to have forgotten that I'm not her Carer anymore and keeps ringing me to do things for her or offload about her Dad who is ill. I find it hard to switch off too so I've gone along with it so far. Anyway she was stuck in the town and needed a lift (right away if you please!) She'd been collecting antibiotics for a "pelvic bleed" she'd suffered the previous day (I'd taken her to A&E then too.) She told me she wouldn't be able to go to a Council meeting she'd requested on Monday as she has to go to the GUM clinic! Now I know that doesn't necessarily mean STD's and on her medication she is liable to infections, but it never happened when I was with her and from what little I know about the Dull Spark she is seeing it does seem likely to me that he carries VD. I couldn't help thinking poetic justice, is that cruel? It does make me wonder if she's been having unprotected sex, in which case, just how "early" in the relationship is it really? I guess I might never know the truth.

 I turned 40 when our relationship started going down hill and I think I'm owed a Mid-Life Crisis so I've recently had my hair bleached blonde, sort of makes me look like someone who was once a surfer and now runs a clapped out bar on the beach!(Which is kind of cool.)Now I'm looking at buying my first ever sports car. Just a little '01 silver MG and I can afford it, but I've never considered such reckless expense on myself before. Also I don't know what the divorce court would make of me buying a sports car straight after separation, would it be perceived as needless expense as we already have a car and I'm paying a loan on that. More importantly, is this something I want as a distraction from feelings of rejection? because I've always wanted one and there's no one else to consider? because I don't think anyone else would want me unless I have some sort of materialistic prop to attract them?or because I have too much time on my hands now I'm not thinking of her 24/7?