Not Bankrupt, yet!

It has taken me a while to find out how to blog but I think I may have found the correct button?

 So much has happened in this last week or so, I think my head will explode.  This divorce is a steep learning curve.

 As you may have seen from my messages my STBX came along last week and took away a very substantial company asset.  There was nothing I could do, at least not legally, I just had to take photos of what was happening for evidence (though quite what use will be made of them I have no idea).  Anyway I did the decent thing, remained calm and wrote to the ex asking the whereabouts of the item and explaining that his taking it may make the company insolvent.  Needless to say I did not get any reply, hence my solicitor has written to his today asking the same question.  Little point laying an egg over it - I just have to accept the fact that it has gone. I have since learnt that he has sold it for much less than it was worth!  By the sounds of things he is up to his neck in debt - all of his own making I might add, meals out, overseas holidays, living beyond his means.

Anyway, I'm a true believer that knowledge is power. Therefore, in search of knowledge I went to the CAB, they couldn't directly help but put me on to a free business debt line, they were great, gave me other numbers, web sites and posted me loads of info to read.  I found myself at a liquidators yesterday - I'm not bankrupt, but the business is insolvent.  I should be okay to continue trading providing I don't make the debt any worse and with the view to making enough money to liquidate the business.  Ironically the business could have been liquidated using this now mis-appropriated asset.

So I continue to run a failing business taking £50 wages whilst trying to juggle personal debts of the family home etc, 'juggling jelly' I call it.  The creditors are taking turns of who won't be paid this month.  I need to sit down this weekend, in between opening the shop and finishing off my Final Hearing statement, to write to all my creditors and tell them what exactly is going on.

My solicitor informs me that I will have to pay for my Barrister up front at least a week before the hearing £1,700 ish plus a token sum of the solicitor's bill so far.  As you can imagine, the jelly juggling does not account for this.  Especially as befor this month ends I have to find the mortgage interest payment of £1,400.  The business needs to find the VAT money of £600 and the rates of £344.  I need to have a brilliant weekend of sales, which would be possible if only I had both customers passing the door and stock to sell them.

I would love to think that in 6 weeks at the FH it will all be over.  Sadly, all Ican see is a court order that will be ignored and me in more financial debt than I can deal with both personally and in business.  Even if it does all go my way I have to find the strength to put the action plan into force.  Back to that superwoman thing again and where do I find the money to get another valuation for any new lender, or the money to organise a property transfer or worse still hang on until the property is sold?

 Sometimes I feel week and useless, like I can't go on like this any more.  Three years in limbo is enough!  Then I remember the story I learned as a kid.......

A little bird had his wing over his eye and was crying, an owl came to see the little bird and said "why do you cry?".  The little bird let down his wing and the owl could see that the little bird's eye was missing.  "I see why you cry, that nasty big bird has pecked out your eye."  The little bird said "no, that's not why I cry.  I cry because I let him do it."

What happens next is up to me.