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Sep 13
2008
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God he is a fruit loop. BUT next friday night we are having a date. He has agreed to try from beginning. Not holding breath but I said i needed space and was backing off so he came running forward. We'll see. Not giving up yet on 19yrs. It is a proper first date type date, scary...........
Update - probabaly no date will happen as I decided enough was enough with his gob and said again she is to be no part of his life friend only or not. I told him I was not competing for him and said perhaps space was what was needed until he was in a place where he could decide what was what. I explained me as his wife should be his confidante as well as his lover, he can't have her as the close friend and me as the lover, it won't work and I am not going there. Until he introduces me to his new group and breaks contact with her there is no relationship. But I think now he gets I have to trust him again, I hope he gets anyway. It is odd as he is so frightnened of starting again and it failing.
But you know my life at the mo changes several times daily, blogging has been great as i have been able to keep track of what the hell is going on. I have been reading back about my emotions this morning as i was expecting to go back to low again after reading his phone bill yest and seeing all the contact with her but I haven't, so that is progress.
I gotta wonder what sort of person will emerge at the end of this, I hope I'm not going to end up as cynical and bitter. You hear so much about women never fully getting over divorce. I just don't think I should give up yet. I have known him since I was 13, we were a couple from 18yrs and been together for 19yrs. He was my first crush, I have spent more time with him than anyone else. I know he loves me so much but it just went so badly wrong. I just wonder what is next............
But today I think I will stay in bed for ages, then potter around the garden and maybe hit a diy store. Not contacting him, justt going to let it go and see what happens. For my sanity I have to accept that I have no control over anothers behaviour and what will be will be. And thank you Rawed, finally going to take your advice about backing off and let him do the running, not got a lot to lose have I .
xxx
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Meishka
said:
| September 13, 2008 | ||
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Fit, You may need some help to talk things through and maybe relate or counseling maybe an option. If you try and tread the path alone it may and will be difficult. 19 years is worth saving, but make sure you are making the right decision to try for the right reasons and not only because you have known them for a long long time. If you tick the boxes with the right symbols then do it!!! If you cannot then think again maybe it is happening for the right reasons. Good Luck.. M |
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carrie.watling
said:
| September 14, 2008 | ||
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Am in a similar situation together 20 years. he had an affair, because i didn't love him enough or he couldn't give me what i wanted. have tried everything to sort out, being more loving being cool, both give licence to walk all over you. If he wants you he will give her up, if you allow him to have both of you - he has it made! the ball is in your court. he won't pick her ... by going to france you will be leaving her behind - he can't resist the temptation because she is easy but i think when they made these emotional bonds it takes a long long time (sometimes years) for them to get over it. good luck ((fitbird)) |
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