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Aug 02
2007
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STILL BITING MY TONGUEPosted by Dockley in Untagged |
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Todays blog is dedicated to you Mrs.............. my ex, and one hell of a mother.
Yet again I am biting my tongue for the billionth time!!!!
Your weekend visitation time is due and suprise suprise there is a hitch.
This has just become the "norm" for the lat six months.
What does he think I wonder, when he waits for the phone to ring, for you, his mum to tell him what time he is allowed to come, and the phone never rings?
He must feel something, that must be why he then worriedly rings you to ask "is everything ok? what time can I come round?" hope in his voice.
"I can have you X day but not Y day, cause I'm doing ......blah blah blah so is that ok?"you say to him, same scenario, different date thats all.
Well of course its not ok!!! How many times are you going to do this to him?
He knows, and is all set that every other weekend he comes to see you for the whole weekend, its only once a fortnight after all, you can be busy on the other weekend surely? Why do you always have to be busy on "his" weekend?
So today I am biting my tongue, so I dont say to him...................
What is she doing that is more important than seeing you?
Does she know you have been off school two weeks already?
Does she not miss you?
Does she not want to see you?
Does she make you feel unwanted?
Does she want you next weekend then instead of this weekend?
Does she want to see you in the week instead then?
Does she want to spend anytime with you?
Does she know that you want to see her?
Has she forgot she hasn't seen you for two weeks?
Are you her pain in the neck spoiling her weekend plans?
I just dont get it, everyone seems to say or think that your bond as his mother is stronger with him, after all you did carry him for 9 months, so why then do you do this?
You spent everyday with him until he came to live with me, do you feel like you have to punish him? has he betrayed you? has he let you down?
You have visitation on a plate, on your terms yet you still discard it which must make him feel that he is discarded too I'm sure.
I do hope that when you finally get over being so angry and bitter with me that you have not completely destroyed your relationship with your only son during the process. In the meantime I will go on biting my tongue and pick up the pieces.
Sleep well and enjoy your weekend Mrs..........my wife, his mother, your conscience is clear?
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divwiki
said:
| August 03, 2007 | ||
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It's always the kids who suffer most, but it sounds like your having a hard time too. after all, all her prevarication etc must impact your life as well as your son's. It's good that we can "blog out" some of these feelings, isn't it. For what it's worth, sounds like you're doing a great job with your son. |
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jasmine
said:
| August 03, 2007 | ||
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Biting the tongue takes the most self control watching the kids suffering is agony.Just keep being there for him . I was told by a valued friend that if a kid rants and raves at you and is angry its because they feel most secure with you. They are too frightened to share their true feelings with the parent that is letting them down. So just keep showing him all the love he needs. | |
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Shelia
said:
| August 03, 2007 | ||
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Your son/her son will make his own judgment of you and of her. I am sure he knows which parent stuck by him and I'm sure with a great dad like you he will be fine. Maybe I'm missing something? Why are you biting your tongue? Why not tell her? Sounds like you couldn't make anything worse, perhaps she doesn't realise the effect of what she is doing? but I've never been in this situation personally and I'm sure you know what you are doing. Just don't understand that's all. Think you are doing well to keep it bitten though, even I would have trouble in such circumstances. Just make sure you don't bite your tongue off! Good wishes Shelia |
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