Wednesday 1st August - dilema

Again a good nights sleep

Dilema really today – yesterday I was all for confronting him soon, but am having another change of mind.

I have two things that really need sorting before the provebal shit hits the fan.

1. We have bought a property in Slovenia which has not yet completed  It was all my idea, but because I am Australian I cannot buy it in my name.  This means it had to be done in my husbands name, which means he has to sign the papers.  I then intend to go over there – driving down with a friend (woman) to decorate it and furnish I, probably in September.  The problem is– if I confront him and he walks this will mean the trip to Slovenia will be off because I cannot then leave my daughter alone to cope with the drama of it all and the upset.   Also this could maybe mean that he will throw a wobbly and refuse to go through with the purchase. 
2. The job situation – if I confront him now and give him the boot – which is what is going to happen, it wont help him get employment – for a start he will need to find somewhere to live.  So should I wait til he gets a job?

My other alternative is to confront him – tell him what I know – ask him what he intends to do, what he thought his plans would be?  See what he has to say about the whole mess.  Then suggest we don’t tell the kids until after I get back and all the papers are signed.  That way the air is cleared  This way I would at least know his intentions – if he planned to leave after getting a job – to move in with this woman?  As far as I am concerned he may as well.  Funny thing is though, she has a boyfriend who she is thinking about moving in with.  I just don’t get it, I’m confused.

These are the reasons I have for the delay.  This is why I am trying to keep the status quo (hey I have tickets for Status Quo in November).

Ican’t tell you difficult that is, sometimes I think I am getting used to it and whats a few more weeks?  Then I start going mad – this depends on what I am doing in the day – if I am in and haven’t had anybody to talk to – that’s when it hits me and I start thinking I cant stand it any longer.  I’m much better if I have been out of the house all day, preferably with a friend to talk to.

Today I had lunch with another good friend – and then went and bought my car – yippeeee – the first I have had in my name.  Do you know maybe I will drive away for the week to try it out – somewhere far far away.

Still look on the bright side – you will have a little more time before the end of the world!!!!!