Not one of the better days....

Forgive the outburst of self pity that is likely to follow..... I am having a bad day.  I am in that phase of alternately believing that it can be repaired and there is a future and that it is all over.  The complications of living and working in your business premises with your former wife and your children are at best challenging.  Last night I returned from working at 7:45pm to be asked by the STBX to put up the family tent in the back garden so that the children can camp out for the night.  'With whom?' was the first thought on my mind as I felt it a little presumptious on her part to commit me to a night under canvas after letting my hotel room to 'paying guests' last weekend.  A z-bed in the function room is good enough for me... 'With me!' came the almost equally unbelievable reply.  My STBX and tents simply do not mix.  There is no ensuite or hairdyer or wardrobe or mirror in your average Millets special.  I have taken the kids camping loads of times because they absolutely love it and she wouldn't even venture into the tent when she came to visit  us.  What's changed all of a sudden?  I am unable to find the tent in the cellar, attic, apartment or sheds, as the handyman has 'tidied', so an hour later she decides to clean out the half constructed treehouse, enlisting the help of a 'paying guest' to de-spider.   I survey the scene in complete disbelief as the kids troop out for a night in the shed.  Has she finally lost the plot?

Mediation part 2 is looming large next week and occupying a great deal of my thoughts right now.  It is complicated, because it will be an agreement on seperation, followed by a final agreement on disposal of the business.  It is so open-ended, because it depends on when it goes on the market, how quickly a buyer is found, whether she decides to buy me out, or me her etc etc.  We have agreed broad short term financial terms at the last session,but the next session will involve our terms of seperation.  She is not going to like what I will have to say.

Although we are splitting as a couple, we are still equal business partners with a 50% stake.  Anything that she does that uses resources from the business or impacts the business in any way needs my consent or approval.  She simply is not going to like that.

After she gave me the good news in January this year, she then redecorated our daughter's bedroom in laura ashley wallpaper with matching fabric and furniture.  Cost a bloody fortune - guess what - she charged it all to the business.  The business that lost a shed load of money last financial year.  I find myself asking myself if the business really did lose so mch money, or is there a secret stash somewhere?  It isn't healthy to think like that, especially if you are going to allow your STBX to continue to run your business and trust them to declare the cash receipts they take.

Incoherent ramblings, brought on by a deep paranoia.  Still not convinced that she really wants to take this all the way.  But then again, I need to show her that I do believe she is serious, otherwise she will become very difficult and force issues as she delights in doing.

Hopefully in a better frame of mind tomorrow