16 Again!

Hi Wikipeeps.

Well, its official, me and him are trying to work things out.  Since our wedding anniversary (25 August) we have been talking.... and talking .... and talking! In fact we have probably spoken more in the last two weeks than we have in 2 years.

I can't pretend its easy .... its dammed difficult to hear some of the home truths, and I know he feels the same but he has taken things on the chin, so Ive had to do the same. 

We are taking it slowly and thats good, if not a little frustrating!!  Its weird though to sit in a room with the man Ive been with for 22 years, and be so 'remote' and distanced ... no intimacy and no'normal behaviour' 

However there is a BIG positive to this ..... its exciting!  Im 16 again ... ok definitely dont look it but feel it.  I am waiting for the phone to ring all the time, im texting him and him me.... suddenly I get why my son cant let his phone out of his sight!!! Im wondering if hes thinking of me and if he is, whats he thinking?  I want to look nice when I see him, I want to make a good impression. 

Last night I got my 'first kiss'  ..... WOW ..... forgot what that felt like.  

We have both written letters to each other outlining why we were unhappy so its all 'out there', we've discussed some of it, but theres still more talking to do.  Everything, on paper at least, seems resolvable or that there will be a compromise to be had.

He text me last night and it simply said.... Im so sorry ..... thank you for not giving up on me!  For a man of very few words .... that told me a lot and meant even more.

I hope no-one minds me writing about this, I dont want to be insensitive and I know how much pain people are going through.... if you have read some of my earlier blogs. ... you will know that I have been through it too.

I think this goes to show that life has a way of turning things on their head, in a good way sometimes as well as a bad way.  6 weeks ago, I was looking divorce in the face now Im hopefull of a reconcilliation.  None of us know whats round the corner .... good or bad .... you just have to deal with today and Mr/Mrs Right might be round there waiting  .....  and it might surprise you who they turn out to be.

 I am happy to have a second chance to try and mend my family, I never wanted it to break and it hurt me so badly that at the time, he wouldnt let me try to sort it out.  However, Im realistic... tomorrow is another day and it could go horribly wrong but for today I'm happy!