|
Sep 05
2008
|
 |
What is it with these emotions? I have just spent the last few weeks feeling positive about the future, when suddenly today I wake up flat, empty and numb. It is bewildering. There has been no crisis or legal wrangling; no contact problems or emotional manipulation. Just me.
I think I might prefer anger or anxiety (not sure it's true, but today I do think that). You can see what you're up against then; they have substance, something to oppose. This feels like fog closing round me; I can't see where it has come from or where I will emerge. My goals have disappeared and there is nothing to rant about. I look for a way out and see a me-shaped space, but it is empty.
I fear that this is what it will be like after the process of divorce is through. I am focussed on getting through each stage, keeping in the moment, defined by it. But what after that? Is that how people end up hanging on to anger and bitterness, because there is nothing to take their place when you're done.
I suppose I don't really understand what I want from the future yet. Until now I've been happy to have an absence of negative emotions, but at some point that may not be enough. Sorry to be downbeat today. New day tomorrow.
finding xx
Show/Hide comments
futureperfect
said:
| September 06, 2008 | ||
 |
 Hi. After a long time ( considering and trying reconciliation) am finally permanently separated and for the first time in ages, feelpositive about the future- whatever it brings. The feeling DOES come- believe it! |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Iwillbeok
said:
| September 06, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi finding Sorry to hear you are feeling down. It is hard enough when we feel anger or hurt around our situations, but even harder when our down times seem to have no obvious foundation. As you say, I suppose it would be tempting to then hold on to stuff, just to give us something to focus on. I have noticed that I have become very used to having something to feel bad or sad about & do wonder, when this stops, what I will have to focus on then. My hope is that as the negative feelings subside I will be able to allow more positive ones in to replace them. I anticipate an uncomfortable transitional period but hope that I will have more energy & time to put towards planning my new life. Maybe we need to experience the fog to just ?be with ourselves? in order to work out who we are & what we really want. Hope you feel happier soon. Take care Iwillbeok x |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Show/Hide comment form
