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Sep 05
2008
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I think that many of the blog entries I've been writing, and the comments being received, are serving only to re-enforce one thing... that my wife and I are incompatible.
You see, one of the biggest things that I notice is the level of moaning that goes on in our household. She'll use many situations to have a moan, and I'll moan at her for having a moan.
Take this morning... I'm in the bedroom looking out of the window at the rain coming down, and she's in front of the mirror doing her make up...
"...what do you want to stand in front of the window for, you're blocking my light..." would be the comment.
"...oh, just to give you something else to moan about..." I'd reply.
Now, at her weakest moments, she will admit that she's a moaner. We used to go to a dance class in Worcester, and there was one person there that she totally admired. This was about the nicest person you could meet. Not a bad word about anyone. Just positive comments, happiness and relaxing to be around.
"I'd love to be like her..." she'd say.
But it's a totally different mindset, isn't it. And the expression I've come to use "...just so that you've got something else to moan about..." I know is counter-productive.
I mean, as far as I am concerned, there really isn't that much to moan about. We have 3 healthy children, one of which has done wonderfully well with her GCSE's, a nice home to live in, each other, both self employed, car that's paid off and common interests such as the ballroom dancing, but there always seems to be something to moan about, and I'll always moan about her moaning.
So here I sit, just after 9 in the morning, by myself in the house - writing this. And what was the last thing that happened before she left to do the school run? Her, moaning. About a comment made by one of our children. I mean, she comes into the lounge where I'm working, and starts moaning about this comment. And whispers the moan to me so that no-one else can hear, like it's a secret for no-one else to hear.
Still, I guess that once we're separated someone out there will be glad for her company. Problem is, it grinds away at me. To be moaning when there really isn't that much to moan about... more to the point, not to realise how lucky you actually are and to miss out n the happy parts of life instead.
Ah well, mustn't grumble...
See Y'all.
You see, one of the biggest things that I notice is the level of moaning that goes on in our household. She'll use many situations to have a moan, and I'll moan at her for having a moan.
Take this morning... I'm in the bedroom looking out of the window at the rain coming down, and she's in front of the mirror doing her make up...
"...what do you want to stand in front of the window for, you're blocking my light..." would be the comment.
"...oh, just to give you something else to moan about..." I'd reply.
Now, at her weakest moments, she will admit that she's a moaner. We used to go to a dance class in Worcester, and there was one person there that she totally admired. This was about the nicest person you could meet. Not a bad word about anyone. Just positive comments, happiness and relaxing to be around.
"I'd love to be like her..." she'd say.
But it's a totally different mindset, isn't it. And the expression I've come to use "...just so that you've got something else to moan about..." I know is counter-productive.
I mean, as far as I am concerned, there really isn't that much to moan about. We have 3 healthy children, one of which has done wonderfully well with her GCSE's, a nice home to live in, each other, both self employed, car that's paid off and common interests such as the ballroom dancing, but there always seems to be something to moan about, and I'll always moan about her moaning.
So here I sit, just after 9 in the morning, by myself in the house - writing this. And what was the last thing that happened before she left to do the school run? Her, moaning. About a comment made by one of our children. I mean, she comes into the lounge where I'm working, and starts moaning about this comment. And whispers the moan to me so that no-one else can hear, like it's a secret for no-one else to hear.
Still, I guess that once we're separated someone out there will be glad for her company. Problem is, it grinds away at me. To be moaning when there really isn't that much to moan about... more to the point, not to realise how lucky you actually are and to miss out n the happy parts of life instead.
Ah well, mustn't grumble...
See Y'all.
Comments (2)
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Goodman01
said:
| September 05, 2008 | ||
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They sound petty, some of the reasons why my ex and I split, we nearly split about a year before we did, and when my ex was trying to convince me to stay, she said, what do you think people will say if I tell them the reason we split up was because I didnt do enough house work. Yeah I know it would sound a bit silly, but it wasnt just that she didnt enough house work, it was that she didnt do any, she did making house messy, better than then children, but no house work, and when I got home, every day, after the children were put in bed by me, I spent a couple of hours getting th house straight, whilst she sat on her arse. These little things, some of which are not so little, mount up, the lack of nice words that are exchanged, the constant tention, the finding fault with everything etc, get you down, and in the end can be the end of your relationship. Moaning, maybe, but it left alone, it is like a cancer in a relationship, and it was the end of mine..... GM |
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Buster_99
said:
| September 05, 2008 | ||
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Drew, Once again you have hit the nail on the head. Having just exchanged our Form E's (financial status and needs) she might realise that we also had everything sorted. Nice house, two wonderful children who enjoyed many activities, no issues with debt other than her credit cards and yet she "wasn't happy" and had not been for a while. We had a good standard of living (mainly from my salary) but yet she needed Sky TV and a Sat Nav system for the car and the hotel we stayed in on our skiing trip was not up to her standards. I don't honestly know what more I could have done. But the main problem was the lack of communication between us which we are both responsible. Money was always an emotive subject (which I supposedly knew nothing about) and it was always difficult to discuss as she knew best. I should have tried harder but it was never going to be a relationship that required consensus. So after years of balancing the books and the continued comments about me being tight and treating her like a skivvy (she worked 3 days a week) I finally had enough when she was not very considerate with my terminally ill mother. I just don't think we were compatible. What worries me now is that in the beginning I was convinced we were compatible! |
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