A belated blog entry

I'd been so looking forward to yesterday. Silly really, but the kids had been around me so much (especially H because she'd finished school in May), that I really needed "ME TIME".

Yesterday, they were back at school! At last! ...and her, COW as I've nicknamed her, was at work, and I had the whole house to myself.

Now, I'd taken a bit of time here, and a little time there, to start - and bring up-to-date - this blog. I was almost at the point where all the crap highlights from the past had been entered, the history had been written about so-to-speak, and this blog was then ready for my day-to-day entries.

Perfect timing - an empty house and a ready to use blog, (and there was stuff to write about) - ...and what did I do? None of it! I went into the chat room.

DrewB, if you do things like that again, you'll forget those entries, and the continuity will be lost. Don't do it again. If you want chat time, fine. But do the important stuff first. Consider yourself told off.

So here is my entry that should have been written about yesterday. There were 3 things that needed committing to diary. One was the tumble drier incident. Another was the dinner incident. And the last was the Tesco/Petrol incident.

Now, this may not mean much to anyone else who's reading this, but the 3 instances for me demonstrate two characteristics in COW that I find unreasonable. The "Control" element and the the "Ungrateful" element.

It's no big deal, but, DrewB, note this entry as a reminder of the tumble drier. The clothes weren't dry, and rather than having COW moaning about me not helping out, (remember how she moans about anything and everything DrewB!) I'd decided to put the clothes in the tumble drier. Good idea, or so I thought until she got back home and, rather than being pleased that someone had thought in advance, oh no, let's have a fu**ing moan about the fact that I'd put a linen pair of trousers in, which apparently shouldn't be tumble dried.

Then, later she took the girls into town to shop for the school uniform. By the time that 5.00 p.m. arrived, I'd started to think that perhaps I should put some food on for dinner. I mean, I didn't want to give her any excuse to moan that nothing had been done. So, it wasn't the best meal in the world, but I'd put some pizzas and battered cods in the oven. And was it appreciated? Don't be f'ing stupid Drew, it was yet another excuse to be ungrateful, of course. Who would have the cod? Who would have the pizza? If she'd have done it she'd have done something else which would have been much better. My answer? Next time, do it your bloody self!

The Tesco/Petrol thing is only as a reminder for me about the control side of things. It's not much, but to me it demonstrates how it isn't considered in my family that I'm able to make even the smallest decision without being questioned. Up to the junction we went. Would I turn right to get petrol, or left to Tesco (we needed to do both). I chose right. I am all grown up, and am able to make choices. Was I expecting it? Oh yes. "Where are you going?".

Now, that may not sound much to anyone reading this, but I do seem to have spent all of my life driving someone around who is continually commentating on the decisions I make when I drive. "I'd have gone that way around the one way" or "I'd have parked there" or "why are we going this way" or "where are you going".

So, there it is. I can't put any emotions into this writing, but for me it serves as a reminder for the future. ...and for anyone who reads this, you may not understand as it may all seem a little petty, but this is just the entries for one day, and when every day is full of attempted control (and I firmly believe that this blog will continue just like this from now on) the pattern will emerge, and will serve as a reminder for me as to why our marriage is doomed.