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Sep 02
2008
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My ex has been arrested and got bail condition after what he has done to me.He got injunction by the County Court ,our case is still on.By the wy He is at Magistrate Court,I got invitation letter to attent the court to give evidence.H edenied and what he has done and doesnt accept he is guilty.I did not lie and I was almost forget the past ...Now I cant sleep to think whats going to happen at the court?His solicitor is going to ask me so many questions to put me in trouble and lies and I dont know how can I stand with keep calm during the cross examination?
I wish him find a guilty,the problem isnt he slapped me or gave me bruises,he has to be guilty what he has done to me verbal and emotional abusing years....
Ayone has smilar experience to sahre with me what happeneing when you go to give evidence to go to the court?
Thanks
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rubytuesday
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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Istan, sorry I dont have any experience of this to share with you. Just wanted to say that Im with you in spirit. Hold your head high, girl, you have had a hell of a life with this man, and yet remain strong, beautiful and intelligent. Love, Rubes xxx | |
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istanblues
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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Thank you ruby..you was always good mate since in the begining...yes he did make hell my life and my kids now he is doing his best to escape of his trouble..maybe this going to be last round..yes,you are right I have to be strong....I am not in his chair also.... | |
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fitbird
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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I am a magistrate in domestic abuse courts. You need to speak to victim support and ask for special measures in the court room to make you feel more comfortable. Victim support will also be able to sit with you and suport you during your time at the court. The CPS should be in touch, let them know how ou are feeling and they should support and guide you through everything. Magistrates know about emotional and verbal abuse and if you have an injunction then there much be some evidence other than you just said so. He didn't manage to not banned from coming to see you by a court with none of it. Be strong, we here for you, well i am crap a the mo but will do my best to be here for you:-) | |
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istanblues
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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Thank you fitbird....all I m concerned do I have to talk baout what happened and how did he manipulate and controll me during the years or just have to give answer what they ask? | |
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istanblues
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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also I went to see the dedective who sent him to the court yesterday and he made statement and said I need special measure and the reason...they are really so supportive... |
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lyndamac
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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Istan, Please I beg you to be calm ,slow down do not be emotional, women who have been battered make very bad witness's for court. You can do this if you get some help. These men make much better witness's for court. This said let us get to wrk with helping you give your evidence.I have just posted a blog about DV I have done a lot to help mothers in these situations. Be strong , get yourself to a level were you switch of from the fear . It is all about putting fear into you . It is scary ,just do not let him see how much you are scared of him. It is easy for me to say this, I was in bits and I lost because I could not bear to sit even in court . My stomach used to heave then I would feel the bile come up as you at to sit next to mr nice guy in the suit. They learn fast so should you how this works in court. As for the barristers give you evidence as slow as you can drag it out . I watched a social worker answer as slow as someone with learning impairment . I think they will talk about the run up to the incident and the incident ,contact urgently Womens Aid they will ring you back and advise you. Goodluck Lyndamac xx |
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istanblues
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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He gave me bruise when he hold my arm and slapped my forehands to take something back....Now he is denying he did not do and I am lying.... | |
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fitbird
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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istan don't worry, they wil be gentle, the magistrates will interupt it the questioning is felt to be too aggressive. With the people prosecuting they may ask you to tell what happened (these are the ones on your side). His defense will ask you questions. I never se a domestic abuser in cour that says he did it, they all deny it and they say the other side is mad or getting revenge. Don't worry, but you must get special measures. Speak to the cps and victim support please xxx | |
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istanblues
said:
| September 02, 2008 | ||
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I have alreday speak to cps and they aske d the specaila measures for me..because of my circimstances...also called vitness support...will go and visit them... | |
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IKNOWNOW
said:
| September 03, 2008 | ||
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Istan, I am in court today and representing myself to extend my non-molestation order. To this day he has denied any abuse took place even with police involvement and other agencies. Your abuser has managed to get himself into the Magistrates Court with the abuse he has put you through. There is photographic evidence and police files. Be strong Istan, you are hopefully facing the end of his ability to abuse you now. You are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman who has shown him that he cannot abuse you anymore. I pray that justice is done and in a small way that will help me too because it means that survivors of Domestic Abuse are being listened to and our suffering has not been in vain. I am going to be on my own in court today but I am going to hold my head up high and show him that I have had enough. I am divorced from this man now and should be allowed to live a life free from abuse. I follow your story and have seen you go from strength to strength. It is true, the less we have to be with the abuser the more we find our inner strength, the person we were before he tried to take our soul away. Best wishes xx Sarah xx |
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istanblues
said:
| September 03, 2008 | ||
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Sarah, Thank you so much...Your words gave me so much supprt..Suddenly I have forgotten what I have done in the past..You just remind me...Yes I will be strong and I will put last poin in this relation in that day.I wish all the best for you and looking forward to find out what hapened in the court about you...Good luck... Esra x |
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