Sunday 29^th July

Husband out of the house at 8am – back at 1pm – much as expected.

He came home in a great mood, can’t imangine why. I don’t get how he can face me!

At which point I left the house to go car booting, but again found myself unable to return to the house so went and had a coffee for an hour or so.

Did a lot of soul searching today, and am finding it quite hard to get my thoughts in order to express the way I was feeling.

I was back to getting these feelings suddenly coming at me from nowhere, I would be quite happy – then bang and that huge feeling of nausea.

I had problems getting to sleep last night – and I think when that happens, I defintely get these sort of feelings of self pity.

Note to self – GET SOME SLEEP!!!!!!!

I was working through why everything had gone wrong and I have come to the conclusion that he really needed a more ordinary wife – a sort of ideal tea on the table one (dunno where he thought he would find one mind!). I do tend to get restless and need projects to keep me from boredom.

Last years project was to buy a house in Slovenia – so off I went and did it.

I have also spent an absolute fortune buying spare parts and gifts from the BA Concorde auction – anyone need a trolley or two? Cutlery, glassware? Engine parts? Good investment I think.

So the poor guy does have stuff to put up with – I was just wondering what my next project will be – and now I know – bloody divorce – not quite what I had in mind!

Was wandering around the house trying to keep my trousers up – down one stone now!!!!

Practised my parry and reposte (fencing terms, I think!)

I have decided I need a new car – so set about persuading the hubby that even tho’ he was redundant it would be a very good investment, cos the old one is on its last legs. And please could I have one in my name?