D-day

Posted by fitbird in tired and exhausted, saving my marriage, my day today, feeling down, dealing with emotions, choosing to stay or go, breaking up, bad day, affairs and cheating, accepting its over

Well took the lead and today is d-day. Tonight we are going to sit down and talk. Tonight I need answers. He is going to have to talk about her, his feelings for me and everything else. I cannot cope with this anymore. Got about 2 hrs sleep again last night and am struggling to even focus on basic simple things. I feel shaky and sick and cannot carry on like this. I need answers.

Tonight he has to make a decision. Properly sort things out with me or that is it. I am taking control. He is coming over at 6pm, he knows why.

Just not sure how I will keep going till 6pm tonight, it feels like waiting for the end of my life to come as have horrid feeling I am not going to get what I want or hear what I want. But then I know that i can go intoo chat and you peeps will be there. It feels like this is going to be the worst day ever but I know it has to be done. I daren't even get my hopes up.

xxx

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mike62 said:

September 01, 2008
		Claire, You have to take the long term view. Is his conduct and attitude towards you acceptable? Absolutely not. Is he likely to change either in the short to medium term? That is the crux of the matter. You deserve so much more than to be just 'available' when he wants you. It isn't any basis for a relationship. He has to shape up or ship out. You have invested enough in him.. Time to think about Claire and her needs for once. Fitbirds go far in life. Especially when they don't have unpleasant things dragging them down. If he isn't prepared to devote himself to you as you have to him, then I am afraid it is time for some extreme short term pain for some hugely significant long term gains. Do what is right for YOU girl. Mike

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Turumbar said:

September 01, 2008
		i am not really in a great position to offer advice but my 2p's worth. In your situation I would 1) inisist he needs to cut off ALL contact with his other woman 2) insist you both conside relate counselling or someting similar - until you can both identify the needs th other one is not meeting - how can you sort things out for the future? 3) Take things really slowly - it will take a long time to build trust. These are just my thoughts for your consideration if you see fit. Anyway good luck and take care, Turumbar

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Iwillbeok said:

September 01, 2008
		Hi fitbird I cannot offer you any advice. In fact, you don't need it - only you know what is right for you at this moment. When I had the opportunity to talk to my stbx, I knew I wasn't going to get any answers but I still had the need to ask. Strange as it may seem, just voicing my feelings & asking questions helped me, regardless of how he responded (& most of the time he didn't & just sat there in silence instead). Although you feel like you are 'waiting for the end of your life to come' I feel that it is more like you are waiting for your life to begin, with or without him. You will get through today, no matter how bad you feel right now. You are brave & you are strong. Thinking of you & wishing you well Iwillbeok x