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Aug 29
2008
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I'm sure I've heard it said that men marry women that remind them of their mother's. I could be wrong, but somewhere in my sub-concious I've heard that said.
So, what is my mother like?
Well, just about everyone that should be dear to her has walked away from her.
Her husband, her children and her grandchildren. All have either left her or have distanced themselves from her. That's a lot of people, 13 in all.
If I was here, I'd be staring to look at the common denominator in all of this, but I'm not her. She choses the life she leads, and is certainly too old to change anything, even if she wished to.
So, did I marry someone like my mother? I wouldn't have said so in many ways, certainly not physically, but there does seem to be somethig creeping in that is ringing alarm bells. Let me explain:
We've just got back off holiday. 2 weeks in France. (nore about the events of France in another blog entry).
We noticed that the grass has got very long. The landlady of our house pays a gardiner to mow the lawn, it's huge and slopy, and is too much for us to do.
But the gardener hasn't been.
I opened my emails. Email from Landlady:
"...I've received a text message from Simon (Gardiner) to say it's not worth his while coming any more, and to say he gets too much grief when he comes. Please find another Gardiner..."
Now, my mind is thinking "...how many other people can she do this to...". I mean, she seemed to be on his case every week for not doing this, or not doing that.
Then I think back to the arguement on our doorstep with her own father. In truth, they'd forgotten one of our childrens' birthday's and had come around with a card.
Did she let rip? Did she ever. Did he decide it was too much hassle to keep coming round? Did he ever.
Then there was my sister and brother-in-law, that Saturday when they all came down for a family get-together and she rudely told them we weren't prepared to have Jake (their 5 year old) overnight.Jake was upset, so were they - and I was cross.
Then there's me. I'll be gone soon. Just when I am strong enough. When my being within the family for the children is less needed.
...and I might be wrong, but the way she treats the kids...maybe just maybe.
Perhaps my own insecurities with my upbringing has led me to marry someone of similar nature to my mother. Who knows.
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saffy1968
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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Drew I have read all your blogs and they are very good....my god you have to be strong to live with this woman, does she have a heart at all. Keep blogging and chatting and take care of yourself. Saffy x |
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JJ50
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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Drew Your blogs are so well written and thought out but maybe, i dont know, im no expert dont get me wrong, but maybe you are analysing and dissecting a bit too much as to why your wife is the way she is. She certainly does not sound like an easy woman to live with that's for sure. |
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Mneme
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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Drew, you know when they have got to you when you find yourself doing all the analysing  I have pages and pages and pages. He told me I was neurotic, I didn't believe him and then I realised how much I was writing down, just to keep myself sane lol. And who got me this way???? guess. Keep smiling.. M |
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Donnylass
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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I sincerely hope my stbx didn't marry me because I reminded him of his mother-she has had so little to do with him throughout his adult years (can't really comment on his childhood years) and even less to do with our children. She definitely has favourites in her 4 boys (scumbag not being one of them) and gave him very little support throughout his life. In fact, I think that's where his problems stem from. He has made no secret of the fact that he is jealous of our 3 kids because equally, they have received 100% of my love, support and encouragement since birth-and I don't intend to let that diminish even as they hit adulthood. I don't think he had ever experienced unconditional love and positive regard until we started our relationship-obviously, in the long run, he couldn't deal with it. As you might have guessed, there is no love lost between me my mother-in-law. She once told me that her sons were 'her boys' until 'some woman' came took them away from her. Hopefully my sons gfs don't get that message from me. Take care and keep up the blogging-better out than in!!! |
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Buster_99
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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My stbx has a long list of people she has upset and that don't talk to her anymore. It just so happens that I'm the latest  Problem is we need to be parents for our kids. Could be fun ! |
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mezzie1
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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I do understand that blogs are to let rip. Please be careful about using actual names, especially children, You do not know who may be looking. Hopefully we are all wiki people - full of integrity and support. But you never know! | |
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