Lots more new Blog Entries today

I've woken up today and felt a wave of desire come over me to "Write It Down".

 You see, nearly a year ago something happened in our house (which I'll write about later).

 In my eyes, what happened was, well - extra-ordinary.

So upset by it was I at that time, I took myself off to the doctors. I had been meaning to go anyway, I'd been feeling low up until that point anyway and needed to chat with someone about the levels of my drinking that had been rising.

 I suppose like all qualified people, she did something quite clever. Of course the drinking is a bad idea, but what's important is what's inside a person that takes them to the edge of trying to blot out their life that is more relevant.

"I'm concerned about my increasing levels of drinking habit" I spouted out.

You'd expect someone to say "Ah ha, I see, and how much are you consuming". But none of it!

She placed her pen back on the table, took her reading glasses off and swivelled her chair around so that she could look me in the eyes. She leaned towards me, staired me straight in the eyes and said "...and what's going on in your life that makes you feel the need to drink?".

Someone at last was on my side. Help was at hand. The drinking was never actually discussed, but I came out armed with leaflets about local counselling groups.

And for 3 months after that I attended the local counselling group. And the best thing that I did during all that time was to "Write Things Down".

I had a diary on my PC. When I could, I'd open my diary up, write the notes of the day, then close it.

And here I am again, making notes. Only this time, what therapy. Like minded people can read my "Notes To Self". People who know and understand and are supportive and caring.

Thank you everyone.

...oh, nearly forgot. At the top, I mentioned that I'd write about what brought all this about. Well, here it is...

Explaination: My wife was and still is a spend thrift. I'd kept her account seperate from mine out of experience. And for 7 years she'd accumulated debt after debs, taking out loans in order to consolidate previous debts.

Now that isn't the reason, but is an explaination why she was working day shift after night shift during this time... to earn enough to cover her debts.

One evening, she'd just completed a day and night shift combination for the whole weekend. It must have therefore been Sunday, and in fairness she was Knackered.

I'd been with the kids all weekend whilst she worked, and on Sunday Evening Luke (11) and me decided to stay up a little later.

We'd just got Sky installed, and had just discovered a great station called "Dave". Dave was re-running old episodes of "Whose Line Is It Anyway" and Luke loves it. I mean, really loves it.

So, as a treat, and because he'd promised me he'd get up on time for school, we snuggled on the sofa to share some dad-son time.

At 9:30 an arrival downstairs. One angry woman. With hand on hip, leaning over agressively and pointing veermently with the other finger came the announcement...

"...how dare I keep her son up to this time of night when he has school the next day..."

Now, in truth what had happen was that Luke had popped upstairs 5 minutes earlier. He'd needed the loo. And on his way back down, he popped his head around the bedroom door. I mean he hadn't seen her all weekend, and wanted to say goodnight.

He had woken her up. 

How dare I? I'm his father and perfectly capable of making decisions in your selfish absence.

And "Her Son?". Sorry, run that one by me again, I think i must have stepped of the planet somewhere.

So, that's when it all took off. The doctors, the counselling, the diary.

And now, nearly a year on, I'm at it all over again. But this time it's different. Positive and supportive feedback from like minded people.

 Thanks everyone. Look out for the many Blog Posts later on.