|
Aug 28
2008
|
 |
Ugh! I have a shudder running through my body when I look at today's date. It is his birthday today.
I imagined, some weeks ago, that I would be able to be friendly & send him a text saying 'Happy Birthday', but no, I am not going to do this. He is with her. & they are celebrating together. I am not a part of his world anymore. I have no place in his new world.
He probably half expects a text from me, after all, I was the woman who begged him to reconsider his thoughts about leaving, pleaded with him to go for counselling, told him I would always be here for him, no matter what, no matter how many years down the line it was after he'd left.
But I am not that person now. I am someone who has fought so hard to maintain a sense of self, to regain my confidence &, during my darkest times, to keep alive. I am getting better. I am beginning to sleep well & I am regaining the weight that fell off me. I might soon be able to wear my size 8 jeans (they have been too big for me since the early part of this year).
Yes, the old me would have probably sent several texts today. I imagine he would have received them with either a sense of smugness ('she is still mine if I want her, poor thing') or annoyance ('when is she going to realise I'm just not interested').
Instead, I am going to continue with my 'distracting myself' regime & keep busy. I have a long list of jobs to work through today (probably far more than I'll be able to complete realistically!) & this afternoon, my son & I are going away, to spend a couple of days with some dear friends. I am going to do my best to put him & her out of my mind. He really doesn't deserve to have any more time wasted on him.
I am sorry for what we have lost. I will probably grieve for this loss for a long time to come. But what we had is no longer in existence &, even I know this now.
Thanks for listening. This Wiki space is having such a positive impact on me.
I am going to go now to embark on my list of jobs & I'm going to do my best to have a 'Happy Me Day'! x
Show/Hide comments
marriaa
said:
| August 28, 2008 | ||
 |
stay strong !! What does not kill you makes you stronger,and obviously it is the latter with you. I often wonder what those who move out think- do they really believe that we just sit there and wait??? We do not think?? They can come back and pick up where they left off? They need to join the human race,nothing stand still ,even broken hearts move on Good luck |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
crazylady
said:
| August 28, 2008 | ||
 |
Hope you had a 'Happy You Day' CL xx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
findingmyself
said:
| August 28, 2008 | ||
 |
Happy You Day! Great idea! Why do we send cards/texts in the first place? ....to tell them they are special. And are they? NO! Have fun  fm xx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Jollyrocket
said:
| August 28, 2008 | ||
 |
hope your day was happy! it is tempting to send texts etc - but good for you that you have not. You will feel great about yourself tomorrow! enjoy!! Jo |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
townie
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
 |
hope you are continuing to keep busy.I had my s2bx's 50th birthday about a month ago to face.LOL I had a real giggle as really on the day they did nothing too special, and it just irratated me that he had to have the kids there.My next thing to face will be our 25th wedding anniversary ,ehat is there to celebrate but only the fact that I got an early release....Yes and I will keep myslef busy..and no I would not want him back!" | |
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Show/Hide comment form
