My life's analogy

This is all a bit random – but as thoughts that have been in my head occur, I kinda want to write them down. It’s my release, and now that I know that people do actually read these things, it’s a way of sharing my thoughts…

…about 2 ½ years ago, something happened in my life that has helped me to understand an awful lot of stuff that, prior to the event, made no sense whatsoever.

What was this event? My wife and I started ballroom dancing.

Now, nothing special in that, other than the way I feel about the ballroom dancing is the way I feel about my life, and a large analogy between ballroom dancing and my life has opened up.

For those of you who read this that do dance, you’ll already know this. For those of you who don’t dance let me explain a little. There is one fundamental rule that must be followed. Only one person decides where the dance goes. It’s called ‘Leading’, and the rules of the dance are that that job has been delegated to the man.

So, the man dances forward so that he can see where he’s going, and the lady dances backwards and follows his lead.

The problem comes when you partner up with someone who, in life, is fervently independent and – under no circumstances will be told what to do. Whether they are wrong or right in life, they will do anything so as not to be told what to do, and yes – even if they have to lie, cheat or be devious by any means, they will do things their way, and stuff the consequences.

Now, take that feisty independent person, put a pair of dancing shoes on them and put them in a position of doing exactly what they’re told to do. It just doesn’t work.

You see, what is supposed to happen is that, even to the extent whereby the woman’s eyes could be shut whilst dancing, she must do what he leads her to do. If he goes forward, she follows. If he makes a mistake, she makes that mistake with him, if he bumps into someone, she follows. But, at any time, if she tries to make any decision on the dance floor, the whole situation is compromised and it falls apart.

So, I’ve got this person who won’t be told “…stop spending, you’ll bankrupt us…” or “…stop driving the car so fast, you’ll have an accident…”. By God, that’s about the exact thing that’s going to create the row that starts “…don’t you tell me what to do…”.

(Oh, by the way, she has bankrupted us twice, and is a thoughtless driver who has had needless accidents.)

Now, take that person and make them a girlie dancer. It just isn’t going to happen. There is just the same resistance level towards being lead on the dance floor as there is in life.

Stop looking over your shoulder to see if the wall is coming. I’m leading you, and I’m more than capable of doing it. Stop trying to lead me by making your own moves up. And more importantly, stop apologising for bumping into other people on the dance floor. I’m leading, and you’re effectively apologising for me and the way I’m leading you. And most importantly, stop trying to lead me in life. I’ve trusted your leadership on many times throughout our lives together and you’ve screwed up.