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Aug 19
2008
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well back from my holiday, and trying to keep things moving forward.. got the consent order giving me my right to the house proceeds and I am faltering and struggling.
Have forms to complete from the solicitor and forms to complete about the house sale,all needing to be done before house goes on the market.I am stalling, trying to find time to fill the damn forms in but just struggling with every day things at the moment.Keep feeling very tired and keep waking up at 4am, and then falling asleep early evening.
Today I was over at my parents and had to listen to how they and my sister never thought it would happen to me, how much they thought he adored me etc..of course I told them I just felt glad I found out he didn't want to continue our relationship now rather than another few years.
Next few weeks and it will have been our 25th wedding anniversary, and i have to see him the night before as we take son to his activity .I am dreading that.
Of course I don't want him back but I miss what we had before he started all his carrying on with other women.Feel very alone and while most days I think I am coping, clearly I am not.
Another bank holiday is looming up, and he is taking his mistress to a holiday with my son..and I will be alone again for 3 days.Thinking maybe then I will fill in paperwork and sort out the stuff that needs to be done, but feel so tired and have no real umph to get any of it done.I know being in this house we shared for 24 years is kiling me, every morning I wake up and hate being here.Urgh.. It has to get better..has to.. but when?
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marriaa
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
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Townie(((((((((((HUGS)))))) we are on a long journey so we are allowed some pause for reflection.You are at the anticlimax after the holiday .The end is getting nearer everyday so pull your socks up and plod along,you have got wiki behind you |
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Petrof
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
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Hi Townie, I go through motions like that. Thinking that I am coping and then suddenly realising I am not. I feel like that about our home too (lived 16years here together). I am happy to still have a home for myself and the children but sometimes I hate it here, it is becoming a reminder of bad things and failures. I hope I will overcome that as for my children it is their home. I spent my holidays staying at home, feeling sorry for myself and saving money. Both boys went away so I was a lot on my own. Hard but I survived. I proved to myself that I can do it. i can be on my own, I can be alone and hopefully I will learn how to be alone and not to feel lonely. i find that to get myself to do these forms takes so much effort but once you start, it is not so bad and at the end it gives me a feeling of satisfaction of being able to deal with something well and without him. All the best Petrof |
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Gwendolyn
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
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You are in a very similiar position to me. Married 24 years and now getting an unwanted divorce. I go up and then right down. Haven't been sleeping well, but am trying to get a bit of control over my life. I went away for a few days and can't believe how much better I feel. I know the feeling won't last, but the relief at not obessing for a while. It sounds like you are quite depressed. I went to Dr and got sleeping pills. The dr was great and just said of course you find it hard to cope. I actually haven't taken the sleeping pills, but know that they are there. I am going to have counselling too. It is a tough time but we will get through it. ((((((((((HUGS)))))) . | |
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verity
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
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Hi Townie how r u,I'm feeling like that right now very sad and was very ill last night thinking of all the hurt . Its good he see your son mine see them 5 mins when the other women is not in the country. I'm feeling lonely also .please rest a bit ,close your eye and think of God . he is the only one that knows how to help you and make you happy .I wish I could make you feel better. we are sufering and we got good frien on Wiki. . Be strong. he won't last long with his new toy (girlfriend). My Ex wife is the around the same age as my eldest daughter. God Bless.Luv U |
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anuska
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
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Hi Townie. Know your feelings much too well. I also think I'm coping but deep down not. Everything is an effort. There seems alot to do at the moment but so easy to put off. Then I beat myself up about it and think I've wasted the last 2 or 3 days. I think when we feel like this it's best to take things at our own pace and deal with things as and when. I've decided however to try and put some structure into my life as that may help. As I don't have a routine at the moment it's very easy to sway and fall back into that deep depression and do nothing positive or productive. I guess it's natural to feel like this when your world is turned upside down. Hopefully we will gradually change in time to feel at peace and in control of our lives. lot's of hugs Anna.xxx |
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townie
said:
| August 22, 2008 | ||
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thanks everyone. I got a lavender pillow from bodyshop, and that helped me sleep last night,I have started to do a few of the things I was stalling on, the more physical things, and it has made me feel more tired physically.This weekend I want to start on the forms, the dreaded paperwork, and now I have had a 'talk with myself' I know that I will be feeling better once I have moved on, out this house and away from the bad memories.Its going to be a hard weekend, with my son gone, and possibly my daughter, but I am going to try and keep busy.I have found that if I keep busy it helps-stops me dwelling on what could have been. .I did see my s2bx today,h came to help me lift some boxes into the loft,and while he was here and talking with son I realised that I simply have had a lucky excape from him and his problems.Thank goodness i found out now what he was like and at least there is no more deceit.Hopefully when the schools go back I will get back into some kind of routine and peace will start to come eventually.here's hoping.Its nice to know that there are people going through the same as me and will listen. |
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