|
Aug 19
2008
|
 |
hi to all my gorgeous wiki peeps..and of course Mr Blogman.
as you know its my wedding ann on friday, and im trying my best not to think about it, not to get upset, not to wonder about him, what he's thinking (is he ??)
i was having a chat with mum yesterday (she rings me everyday) and she said it was time i moved on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mum how can you say that ?? god, she knows what its like........shes been there....
so moving on ?
my question to you is
"how can people move on when they are still in love with their ex's ? ok not in love but you know love them...ok so how can you still love them ??"
to me its obvious...but then what do i know Im blonde !! sorry meant to be a joke...
you spend everynight with them for how many years ? with me it was just over 15 some of you i know it was alot longer, some shorter...but you laugh, you cry, you share jokes, you cook, you clean, you holiday, you fight, you make love, you do so much together....you have a life together and when that goes your whole life falls apart.
so its been 6 mths since this all started, 4 mths since he left...for some of you i know your still living in the same property, me im lucky he doesnt...but it doesnt stop the hurt...the aching, the questions...
i thought i was doing well, thought i was moving on ? maybe its because of friday ? but i seem to have retracted back to wiki full time and not wanting to see friends and family (apart from mum and her hubby) - I dont want to be part of real life at the moment...actually anymore...its seems all i care about is wiki - and the people here.....i dont mean anymore, not really deep down...but you know what I mean dont you...
every day seems a struggle at the moment...
ive seen a few people today who have stopped me (at work) and asked how I'm doing...crap I say.....i miss him...........they've said they were really sorry, thought we were the golden couple etc etc bla bloody bla...we had dentist appt booked for thursday too, i had to cancel that....we always went together....we know them well and they were shocked too....
how can i move on eh ? is it because im still in limbo re the house ? its not a good time to sell ive said that before....would it even help ? i just dont know..
i dont feel like I can commit to anything at the moment not my "real life" anyway, dont want to see friends, have been asked to go out for dinner, but the thought of it scares me....what do I talk about ?? oh yeah the crappy situ Im in...the whats happened to my marriage situ...how yaaaaawwwwwnnnn boring would that be for them eh ?
oh for gods sake Daisy get a life !! he has !! why shouldnt you ?? cause Im still hurting thats why....someone a while ago said stop putting your feelings in a box, they will bite you on the bum !!! eerrr yea maybe they are now ?
they say times a great healer, well after 6 mths dont you think I should be healing ?? god i cant even believe its been this long !!!
i try so hard to be positive, to think about the things ive got to look forward to over the next few weeks but it doesnt seem to help at the moment....
guys what happened to us eh ? why did this happen to us ? its funny but when i chat to all the people I do in wiki chat I think theres nothing wrong with us we're all fab people who just wanted to be loved, I know your all gonna say yes but its them thats at fault...i know your right, but uuurrrgggghhhhhh...
anyway for now thats it again just needed to rant..
thank you for reading and big loves and daisy cuddles..
xxx
Show/Hide comments
Heath
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Daisy I'm right there with you, not much use I know, but at least you're not alone. Heath |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
JessieJ
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Daisy, I really feel for you and know EXACTLY how you feel! Three months on and I'm being told to get over it too!!! Like thats really possible after 22 years (we were only 17 when we got together), We have 2 kids and a whole shared lifetime. My particular dilema is that there is no-one else involved and I cant believe he left me for NOTHING!!!! Just because he was 'unhappy' but neglected to tell me and let me help put things right. If it helps, my counsellor made me draw a time line ... when we first met, when we got together, when we got engaged ..etc, etc. It was really long line once everything was noted down. She then showed me where 3 months would be ... right at the very beginning!! It was nothing in comparison and that made me see that it would take a lot longer than that to 'get over it'!!! It takes time!!! I too swing from 'I must sell the house' to 'Nope, Im staying put' Today I'm still fighting for my marriage ... not sure if its right but have to try ... maybe I'm clutching at straws but I dont know how to be on my own and dont want to be without him. People say im crazy, but .... its my life and my decision. Ultimately you do what feels right for you, You can't turn your feelings off, you just have to hope that if it cant be put right that they fade gradually ..... I think thats healthier. Dont hide from your feelings.... that makes you poorly in the end!!! Take Care Jess |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
JessieJ
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
|
P.s.... I know about the anniversary too ..... its mine on Monday and I'm dreading it ... Also wondering if he's thinking about it too????? | |
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
buxtonman
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Hello Daisy It really does take this time....and more! I am in this about the same time as you and as you know I still struggle at times. I am still struggling now really, just like you. It is a bereavement as you well know! It is going to take as much as a year before life returns to normal. Like you, I have not much life outside of Wiki. Working is difficult...in fact most things are difficult! You (and me) are just going to have to wait until we can re-join the land of the living. I don't think we will ever be quite the same though. But you know what? I think we will be better than before! Stronger and yet more compassionate people. Hang in there. Let's get pissed at WIKI London and forget about it for a night! Andy x |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
LJ62
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi Daisy Would have been my 10th Anniversary this Thursday - was just thinking back to last year and we were all on holiday and making plans for this year. Been together for 17 years and this seperation came out of the blue 3 months ago, would love to sit down and try to work things out - but he wont entertain it. Just wonder what he will be thinking about this Thursday, Will be thinking of you on Friday |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
fish6
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
daisy u know ive been and still going through rubbish so i know theres not alot ican say apart from go with your heart this life is harsh a series of relentless grinding dissapointments believe me but look how u cheer all your wiki mates up whenever u are in chat so take comfort hun you will come out the other side take care fish (kev) xxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Mockingbird
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
God Daisy - I could have written your blog - its so awful isnt it - we try to be strong but the mere thought of life without them makes us sick. I know what you mean re loving someone even though they have done this to us - mine as you know 'dumped' me again on sun (day before 11th wed anniv) and even though he has done it before (so many times in last 8 months) and I never really believed in him - I still feel the most awful sense of loss - I cried when I read your blog because I know how you are feeling. I have good days where I know I am better off without him (and fact - I am) - and think I have moved forward - but then mostly I think 'who are you kidding' - but the thing is, its the marriage, life (like you said all the things you do together through life and think will do for ever) and the person he used to be that we miss. Since Sunday - I have had to speak to my friends a lot - you should do the same - in fact anyone who will voice out loud that you are better off without him - its helps (it didnt stop me crying this morning or looking at my phone 300 times during the day incase he texted). I know people say try and move on and I more than anyone know that this is impossible since we still love them - but we must. I made an appt today with a Relate counsellor - not to help save my marriage since he has written it off - but to help me move on since, although my friends have been great - they have never been at this stage and I now know I need extra help moving on to the next stage of my life (or first stage without him). I felt sick whilst talking to the counsellor - makes it real (how stupid am i - it is real!!). I also made an appt with a solicitor - again I dont want a divorce - but deep down I feel the only reason he doesnt is because financially we are better off waiting - but I need to find out what my rights are cause at the end of the day, he is in a stronger position than me (again years of me understanding that his career came first and mine not being that important - changed jobs about 5 yrs ago and now will never get paid what i could be - again decisions based on a life together that now slap me in the face). Again felt sick - but you know what Daisy - it has to be done cause otherwise Im going to sit here waiting for him to hurt me again - now doesnt that sound strong (I feel sick and so alone inside). My best friend told me (shes a friend of both of us) that (well she choose a few descriptive words for him) that I am better off without him, he is a dispicable human being for not wanting to try living together again or counselling after all I have done for him and that things happen for a reason - there is something better out there for me - and Daisy - there is for you (and I do understand that there are days whereby all you want is him back). Life at the moment sucks but remember, you didnt make it so. Lots of love and huge hugs xxxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Heath
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
|
The thing you can't really put time limits on are your emotions. I have absolutely no idea when I'll get over this, but people around you expect there to be some definite cut off point, where your deep feelings for the other person somehow just switch off. And Daisy, my mother is guilty of this too, just 1 month in she couldn't see why I was so miserable, I should be glad to be rid of her. For 3 months before we split it was mainly awful, and I stopped liking her, but never stopped loving her, and that love carries on. I'd love it to go, but it won't yet. My next wed anniversary date won't be something I'm looking forward to, as the day after she cheated with someone. And do you know how she remembered the date? It was the weekend the clocks went back, not the day after our anniversary! Mothers day won't be much better, as she met him the night before that. So as much as the people around us want us to say 'Right on the 23rd of November 2008 at 21:17 and 45 seconds I'll be over it' we know it ain't gonna happen like that, we're organic, not machines, and we'll get over it when we feel like it! Heath |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Milly1
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Guys Milly prepares to be flamed... but... anyone who is under the impression that their ex will be reminiscing fondly about the good times... is mistaken! They've left. They've thought about it... and they don't want it anymore. They didn't leave you to sit crying over what could have been. They have no regard for birthdays or anniversaries. Sounds like a Terminator. Sorry but this is the reality. Take a leaf outa their book and make some new memories, but take it at your own pace. Daisy, 6 months is a drop in the ocean in 'moving on' terms. Don't be hard on yourself. If you don't want to go out, then don't. Get a dvd, get some wine, get the cats around you and have some Daisy time. But do make sure you're at wiki London!!! Hugs to you. |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
jude6168
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi hunny bunch Friday is praying on your mind and making you think about how it should have been. It?s so hard to accept things have changed and part of us wants things to go back to how they were before. You know that?s not going to happen and personally I don?t want to go back anymore. Daisy you are a lovely person who has been hurt badly, its time to look after daisy. You will be ok and we are all here for you. ((((((((((((((((((Big hug)))))))))))))))))))) If you need a chat you know where I am. Jude x |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Daisy040
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
4 little words i love you guys xxxxxxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Goodman01
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times, dont mope, celebrate, he has turned his back on you, do the same, it will make you feel so strong, and that is because you are. Yes you love him still, or you love your memories of him, when the times were good, things have changed, not what you wanted to happen, but they have. Please dont let him hurt you over and over, break the cycle, you will find happiness, but you need to be ready for it, and when it comes (not if) embrace it, coz its great! Make friday and nite where you stick two fingers up, and start on your new life, the one where you find your prince, if that is what you are looking for, if not maybe another cat or car or whatever! GM |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Mockingbird
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
|
GM - Thank you for those 3 words - "Break the cycle.."- Im going to pin those next to my bed so I see them as soon as I wake up each day - Daisy - do the same... Mockingbird xx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
SteveLB
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi Daisy I couldn't have said it better than GM Remember the good things about him, Learn from the bad, and as GM said stick two fingers up on Friday Have a big hug from me Steve |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Poppie
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((daisy))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))) Thinking of you, you will move on in your own time daisy, I'm moving but its at snail pace compared to others so you will probably overtake me daisy. Take care of yourself and dont think about what ex is doing you will only torment yourself. Love Poppie xx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
sarah39
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Daisy, You just wrote my blog! Every word, every emotion - that's my life, that's how I'm feeling! I'm almost a yr on. Yet I still love him? Do I, I don't know. I think I do. People were so shocked when they knew. My sister said " well if a fantastic couple like you two can split up, what hope is there for the rest of us" I don't know if it gets better Daisy. It still feels like one step forward, two back to me. I do know that you and I should hit Bristol and have some fun. Speak soon in chat. Take care. and thank you for being such a great person. sarah xxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
rosiegirl
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
 |
Hi Daisy Four months isn't long to get over a 15 year relationship so don't be too hard on yourself. Took me much much longer...not going to say how long...don't want to scare you  . Just do things when you feel ready at your own pace Rosie xx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Jade
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
 |
Daisy It will happen for you, believe me you will come out of this. Maybe the thought of Friday is far worse than it actually will be. it was for me, I thought Christmas (last yr) was going to be the worst time of my life, but it wasn't, I have also had a wedding anivesary, (would have been a silver one) which again, came and went, and turned out no different than any other day. Can only say to you that you are doing great ((((hugs))))))) all your feeings are normal and to be expected, we all share your hurt, and I agree with Rosie it will take time. dont expect to much of yourself yet. We are always here for you. Take care Jade xxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Gwendolyn
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
|
Daisy, I can really understand where you are coming from - that's how I'm feeling. I think its worse when you are part of a 'golden couple'. I dread telling people. I am trying to not think about anniversaries, christmas etc (when possible!!!!). and trying to make my own firsts instead of the ones thaat he has made me have. Just been away on short break on my own - it was nice just being me. I told people I was divorced and so nobody asked me about s2bx. It was good, shame I had to come back! y. I agree with everyone that you that you are doing great ((((hugs))))))) |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
saffy1968
said:
| August 20, 2008 | ||
 |
Dear Daisy It is very hard, i found it a very good distraction when I was away on holiday and came back yesterday feeling very relaxed and positive, today not so as he is still in area, maybe I should move away. Not sure, I hope the pain will go away for you in time as it will for me. Just take one day at a time, surround yourself with friends, hobbies and would love to hear some more of your golfing stories as they are very funny!! Take care and big hugs Saffy xxx |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Show/Hide comment form
