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Aug 18
2008
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I don't want thisPosted by Bloddy in children, breaking up |
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Hi
Is there any advice out there about the best way to tell children and how on earth you can maintain their relationship with the leaving parent?
My partner has left me for another woman - a friend - and is behaving very badly towards me . She appears committed to our daughter, P, and I want them to have contact but how am I supposed to cope with seeing xp when she visits our daughter? We are planning to tell P on wednesday and I'm dreading it - I know I will break down and I really want to be strong and not frighten P with my emotions. XP is ridiculously calm and thinks that everything will be OK if only I could be more reasonable and less emotional. She has already moved on with her life but I feel like I am living in a wreckage. We had a strained discussion about what we will say this evening and xp is behaving as though everything will be ok - wants to keep it brief and deal with fall out as it occurs.
I know i should feel angry about the way we are being treated but I just feel unbearably sad for me and P. How do you stay strong and manage seeing them - I know that this is best for P but I'm not sure I'm strong enough.
I feel as though my life is out of control and I just want it all to go away....
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fitbird
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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We are here for you. You can't be expected to be anything other than a train crash at the mo, it is a devastating loss. How old is your child? Mine are teens and they prefered to know how i was rather than feling left out ut guessing i was a wreck. No advice i can offer apart from try to be calm, be honest and huge bit hug to you. xxx | |
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Bloddy
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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P is only 6 and I feel so sad that her life is going to change in this way. I do want to tell her as I think it will help me move on but I never thought that it would come to this |
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Goodman01
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Bloody, I know this is easy to say, but you must be strong for P, even if you are in bits, use this fact as a way to motivate you to do the best you can in this situation. My experience was different, but I am better being on top of things when I have answered my questions about what is going to happen, I am a list man, I feel happier when I have worked out what I need to do, and then I can tick them off, as I work through it, I feel more in control. Might work for you, might not, but its worth a try, to get things in line so you can make sense of it all. Good luck GM |
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marriaa
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
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HI, the only way is to both of you reassure her that the split has nothing to do with her and that you both love her and want the best for her and will always love her.Then you should leave and let the partner have a chat to her while you regain your composer.Never say bad things and show your bitterness when she is around.It hurts like hell.for visitation arrange for someone else to handover or just do it as quick as possible in a public place if more convenient. All the best |
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bertie670
said:
| August 19, 2008 | ||
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My only comment is to be honest and open. Children seem to know more than we think and will soon find out if you cover things up. | |
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