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Aug 18
2008
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Wheely, wheely tyred of all thisPosted by mike62 in my day today, moving on, bad day |
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Sunday morning, 7:35.... ring, ring....
ZZZZZZ, Grunt, Hello?
Michael? (Oooeeer Sunday name..Not good then...)
Yes?
Got a problem
What's that?
Puncture
The significance is that she is supposed to collect the Sunday chambermaid on her way in from her rented house, 8 miles from our hotel, for her breakfast shift - Full house, 22 for breakfast. My morning off.
The impact is that I have to leap out of bed, run around like a headless chicken to get the chambermaid in, get the breakfast ready etc before 8am. Grrrrrr!
She arranges to get herself in by taxi.
Dilemma. What to do about puncture. I ask her what she wants to do.
'Oh, I'll get someone out' she says. My heart sinks.
In mediation last July we agreed that until the hotel was sold, the business would pay for all motoring expenses for both of us. Less than a month ago, her car needed four new tyres and an exhaust. Instead of discussing it with me beforehand, as usual she bulldozes ahead and does her own thing - £1250.00 later, her 10 yo people carrier, worth £1500.00 has four new tyres and a new exhaust. Although she thinks she has done really well having her tyres done, she totally fails to get them to check her balding flat spare.
Regardless that she no longer wants me as her life partner, she is still currently my business partner, but totally fails to live up to any responsibilty for that business partnership.
So what to do? Left to her own devices, she would call Next or Monsoon to see if they had a designer tyre department. Or maybe Harrods. Dragging a tyre firm out on a Sunday morning.... How many sunbeds would that have cost her? And ultimatly the business and me?
So I drive to her house, take off the offending wheel, drive around every tyre place in North West Lancashire (not many open on a Sunday) and eventually the nice man at Kwikfit tells me that there is a gash in the sidewall. Not a puncture but a new tyre. So I get to buy her a new one. Even though the business is ultimately paying for it, it still galls me. £50 lighter, I go and refit the wheel.
Despite looking carefully, I still can't see the diamond studs in the other tyres or the gold plating on the exhaust. Ho hum. They saw her coming from 10 miles away.
She did have the decency to thank me, but it was a grudging thank you. Like 'I could have sorted it out myself you know, but OK, you did it, so thanks'.
What is my point to all of this, apart from having a bloody good whinge?
I NEED to focus on selling the business. I NEED to move on and truly separate from my STBX. I NEED to bring closure to all of this. This has been going on for too long.
ZZZZZZ, Grunt, Hello?
Michael? (Oooeeer Sunday name..Not good then...)
Yes?
Got a problem
What's that?
Puncture
The significance is that she is supposed to collect the Sunday chambermaid on her way in from her rented house, 8 miles from our hotel, for her breakfast shift - Full house, 22 for breakfast. My morning off.
The impact is that I have to leap out of bed, run around like a headless chicken to get the chambermaid in, get the breakfast ready etc before 8am. Grrrrrr!
She arranges to get herself in by taxi.
Dilemma. What to do about puncture. I ask her what she wants to do.
'Oh, I'll get someone out' she says. My heart sinks.
In mediation last July we agreed that until the hotel was sold, the business would pay for all motoring expenses for both of us. Less than a month ago, her car needed four new tyres and an exhaust. Instead of discussing it with me beforehand, as usual she bulldozes ahead and does her own thing - £1250.00 later, her 10 yo people carrier, worth £1500.00 has four new tyres and a new exhaust. Although she thinks she has done really well having her tyres done, she totally fails to get them to check her balding flat spare.
Regardless that she no longer wants me as her life partner, she is still currently my business partner, but totally fails to live up to any responsibilty for that business partnership.
So what to do? Left to her own devices, she would call Next or Monsoon to see if they had a designer tyre department. Or maybe Harrods. Dragging a tyre firm out on a Sunday morning.... How many sunbeds would that have cost her? And ultimatly the business and me?
So I drive to her house, take off the offending wheel, drive around every tyre place in North West Lancashire (not many open on a Sunday) and eventually the nice man at Kwikfit tells me that there is a gash in the sidewall. Not a puncture but a new tyre. So I get to buy her a new one. Even though the business is ultimately paying for it, it still galls me. £50 lighter, I go and refit the wheel.
Despite looking carefully, I still can't see the diamond studs in the other tyres or the gold plating on the exhaust. Ho hum. They saw her coming from 10 miles away.
She did have the decency to thank me, but it was a grudging thank you. Like 'I could have sorted it out myself you know, but OK, you did it, so thanks'.
What is my point to all of this, apart from having a bloody good whinge?
I NEED to focus on selling the business. I NEED to move on and truly separate from my STBX. I NEED to bring closure to all of this. This has been going on for too long.
Comments (11)
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fitbird
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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((((((((mike))))))) It's male s2bx's that also have dodgy spending habits. I have struggling and have to count every penny, he's asking me to help him buy a new laptop. He is off on hol again on sept 5th and then in oct. He did say the 4k per head china tour has been put off for a 5* all inc golf trip to turkey as was a bit much- awwww bless. I know the need to move on thing, if only it were easy to do. Have a damn good winge, get it all out, we're here to listen:-) Clairexxx |
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Rasher
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Yes Mike I think you do! You are a nice guy who trys to do it right as best you can but this is not good for your health and long term well being. You are going to soar once this situation is taken off your back, you are quite clearly ready to move on! Good luck with it Rasher |
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determined
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Hi Michael he he Perhaps the tyre thing may be the momentum to actually focus on the business and your future. i know easier said than done so not preaching (honestly) but perhaps re reading ur blog on occasions may be enough to keep u focused on want u want out of the future and may move u closer to acheiving it. Good Luck as it sounds like u need it. By the way you winge never - perhaps its time u started!!!!lol determined |
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Poppie
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Mike I had to smile reading your post because I had a flat tyre on Thursday. After a quick panic and a chat to a few people on wiki I sorted it out. Got breakdown cover to come and change wheel, then went of to tyre shop to buy new one. Cost £37.00 (small car mike). Wiki comes in useful for so much. These things come to try us mike so take a deep breath and move on, or you could flip that coin. Poppie x |
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IKNOWNOW
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Poppie, Am disappointed in you. You mean you can't change a tyre? Lol. Although I don't fancy having to change one on my 8 seater, have done cars in the past. Maybe an evening class in car maintenance is in order for some of the girlies on wiki. As for you Mike (as we are now into Monday shan't call you Michael) You are ever the gentleman and she is still wanting to spend big. Even on my car I could have got a new exhaust and 4 tyres for less than £1K just about, so yes I think they saw her coming. It is hard in the current property market knowing what is best to do about the business I guess but maybe now is the time to just say enough is enough and push for a sale. Maybe she will have to sacrifice a few pairs of shoes and Gucci handbags for the next few years so that you can get your life back. It is now time to think of Mike (and the children of course) and look to Mike's future. Stay lovely but don't lose sight of where you want to be this time next year. Lots of ((((((((cuddles))))))))))))))) to you. xx Sarah xx |
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stimo
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Mike, I so know, how you are feeling at the moment and how frustrating it all is, neither of us are getting any closer to 'closure' because we have deal with our ex's in business. This is causing a lot of pain and strain for me, she seems to have moved on and is involved with someone (i think?) and i am left to handle the business, she has absolutely no interest in it at all and is just prepared to keep taking from it without putting anything in. i honestly dont know or recognise this person anymore, the change in her has been remarkable, even to the way she speaks sometimes? I yearn for the woman she once was, loving, caring and patient towards me but i know i will never find that woman, she has gone forever, instead i am left with this 'imposter', this hateful, venomous and inpatient person who has invaded her mind and body. I wish i could buy her out, but i cant and i am well and truly trapped... you must feel the same and i empathise with your predicament. For me and you, our nightmare continues and will carry on for some considerable time! but this unhappiness cannot gone on forever (surely?). I feel for you mate, hang on in there. Time...Time...Time... Stimo |
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fitbird
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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P.S. Just remembered how much my tyres cost. I have one of the biggest 4x4's going and 4 tyres cost me £500, so they really saw her coming!!! | |
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gareth67
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Hi Mike, Good on you for helping out I think, next time she needs tyres send her to me, I can bag the profit and we could go and get drunk on it. Maybe you should get her to px her rolls royce for something a little smaller, lol Take it easy Gareth |
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megan
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Mike, you realy need to join the AA. She can do what my daughter and I do, ring them! However it must be no joke still working together after all this time. I find the hardest bit is having contact. I don't know how you do it. ((((((((( Mike ))))))))))) you don't moan half as often as you should !!!! |
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bertie670
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Mike It's tough when you are used to helping others out. I am finding it really hard to stand up for what I want for a change. She doesn't like it one bit but you have got to do it for you. Don't know all the background to your story but suggest get it advertised and listed with agents and get the ball rolling. Bert. |
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jude6168
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Mike A wise man told me you need to think about yourself and think about your needs (i wonder who that was.lol). You do need to move on and the way things are you will find it hard if not impossable to do this. Your not whinging and even if you were we will be here to listen to you like you have to so many of us. ((((((((((big hugs mike))))))))))))) Jude x |
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