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Aug 17
2008
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My wife and I have been together 8 years, married 7, happiest times of my life (or so I thought). Then I found out she had an affair with my"best friend", and moved out for six months, leaving me with our 2year old daughter. When that went pear shaped she came back, sorry for the mistake and we were going to make it work, but of course it had been my fault for driving her to him as I wasn't giving her the love and attention she deserves.
Then she went to South Africa to get her son and stayed 3 months and had another affair with some guy down there, 'cause again I'd been negleting her needs, in asking her to come back as we missed her up here. Eventually she came back and we were happy again for a while.
Then she said again that I didn't love her, and moved out for 6 weeks until the next boyfriend turned out to be "another lying male".
Now another year down the line she's found the "love of her life " and has moved in with him as after 3 weeks of knowing her he's flown them both down to SA and in a week thet're off to Mexico for 8 days leaving me with the kids, as if there's nothing wrong with it at all.
The kids both live with me as they want nothing to do with the two of them, not right for youngsters to have to deal with.
Reading this I realise I should never have taken her back the 1st time, as she's so selfcentred and it's so destructive for me and the kids.
But it's such a rollercoaster ride as sometimes I'm so strong and happy she's gone so I can get on with my life, and ten minutes later I'm an utter wreck wanting her to come back so we can have the good times back.
I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent, well grounded person and this mental state I'm in is not how I should be acting. How can people be so selfish that they can't see the emotional turmoil they put others through by their actions?
Enough of a rant for one day, gotta do something more positive, hmm what washing and ironing? HEE HEE
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IKNOWNOW
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Cad, You need to stop beating yourself up hun. She has used you for her own needs and kept coming back when things have gone bad. You need to find the strength this time to do what is best for you and the children. You are worth so much more than how she treats you. You deserve to be happy and be able to enjoy life without thinking that she may once again come back when things go wrong. We are all here for you. As for doing something more positive, well if it is washing and ironing that rocks your boat I have just come back from a week's camping with 5 children, shall I send the washing over? Lol. Anyway, you are doing something positive, you are coming to wiki london to eat, drink and be merry in a few weeks time and make a whole bunch of new friends and look forward. Let me know about the washing though, Lol. Take care and nice talking to you on the phone the other day, loving the accent. xx Sarah xx |
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jude6168
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi cad The decisions we made in the past are exactly that we can?t change them. You need to focus on the decisions for the future. the ones that will help you and your children to have a better life. The emotional swings are hard to deal with and seam to come out of nowhere sometimes. Be kind to yourself and get on with the fun job of doing the ironing.lol (when your done can you pop round and do mine) Jude x |
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mezzie1
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Those kids are lucky to have such a steady guy in their lives. Keep telling yourself you deserve better from the adults in your life. You are worth more than the lot of them put together. | |
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Bloke123
said:
| September 06, 2008 | ||
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Cad I gave my wif about 8 second chances for our daughters sake. It was always the same man though. Big mistake to take her back but you felt for the kids and the lost family you once had no doubt. Don;t beat yourself up mate - There are plenty of fools out here that have done the same as you. Your kids will respect you for the rest of their lives - You are a diamond Bloke |
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