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Aug 16
2008
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Dear Blog
It's been 5 weeks since my last confession, but I just haven't had the will to blog, chat etc.
I have been on to browse, and keep up with how people are doing though.
It's got something to do with not wanting to wear out my welcome, ‘cause I'm still in the same place I was 5 weeks, 6 weeks, 7 weeks ago, and don't want to bore people with my lack of movement on what's happening. In fact, I'm in worse place now than I was three months ago when I found everything out, and she moved out.
It still occupies my every waking hour, the what ifs, the whys and all the other crap. Her? Well she's moved on nicely, and seems to be still doing what she was doing in our marriage. My six year old daughter told me that mummy went in to the "rudest shop she'd ever seen" (Ann Summers) whilst she waited outside with my son. No doubt to purchase a nice item for her next ‘party' or latest shag off the internet.
It's none of my business, and not my problem I guess, so why does it still hurt so much?
I sent my STBX Father In Law a birthday card for his 60th, which he really appreciated. I could have made some veiled underhand reference about his daughter in there, but left it at 'Sorry I can't be there, all the best etc' Not 'Sorry I can't be there but your slut daughter will be there, unfortunately still breathing!'
It's quite heart warming my In Laws are still very freindly towards me, it adds some stability to my life that, whilst altered , I still have a good relationship with them. However, I don't think my parents feel the same about my STBX, as they now know the full truth, unlike her parents!
Heath
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Curiousmiss
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi Heath Not possible to wear out your welcome by blogging on this site! Blogging (at least in my mind) is all about letting it out (not having it eat away inside you) and if that takes some time especially when u think nothing has changed, then so be it. So blog away, fellow Wiki member, and if you feel like you are not moving on at all, then read back over your first blogs and I think you'll be surprised. I don't really know your story (only what I read here) but I think I saw a step in coming to terms with it all in your handling of your STBX father's birthday. For a start, you were not so absorbed in your own problems that you forgot all about his birthday. Second of all, it would have been the perfect opportunity to have a cheap shot at his daughter and potentially create problems between her and her parents but you resisted knowing that he was not responsible for his daughter's actions. So well done, a small step along what is unfortunately can be a long road. May you continue stepping forwards. I wish you well. All the best Curious Miss |
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sarah39
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi Heath, Curious is right - You can't / won't wear out your welcome. Divorce / separation is like a piece of driftwood caught in the tide. There are times when you feel so waterlogged, you feel you're sinking below the surface. But you do come up again. Most of the time we bob along, with the beach of happiness tantalisingly in view but just out of reach. Sometimes we even make it there, if only for a short respite, other times we get pulled back in and washed over by big waves. But those big waves that pull us back under will one day change direction and put us safely on the beach and out of harms way. Keep blogging - It;'s not just you it helps. S xx |
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Donnylass
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Welcome back Heath, I'd missed your blogs. I'd hoped you were off travelling the world with an exotic beauty, but I realise now you were in the same place that a lot of us are-still on the b****y rollercoaster. I'm surprised I haven't seen you-you maybe in the carriage in front-it is pretty crowded on here. I'm certainly getting my moneysworth  Take care  |
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Goodman01
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Heath, I wondered where you had gone, I am not sure that you ever really get over it you just come to terms with it, accept it and learn to exist with it! No matter what she did, does now etc, you have an opportunity to control what you are doing, and that may well include doing something to make you feel better about yourself, make some small steps Heath, nothing ground breaking, and before you know it, you will start to get stonger. Dont dissapear again, keep blogging, commenting, if you start to bore me I will let you know, buy not commenting on you blog, just like my 19th entry recently, that was so boring nobody even commented!! GM |
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fitbird
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Heath keep blogging. I have just started as found it so helpful. And what others write is also extremely helpful to me as so often it is what i feel. Glad you wrote what you did as i worry about the same, I am sure at some point others are giong to get fed up with me crying all over the place when i chat. And i was beginning to feel comlpete fruit loop until i blogged and got replies saying peeps felt the same. He and his barmaid occupy my every waking moment and that includes most of the night and his family ignore me but they don't know, so much pain and so much hurt - but I'll always read what u write as it helps me:-) | |
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Heath
said:
| August 17, 2008 | ||
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Hi guys, thanks to you all for your welcome back, and i'm glad to hear that even my 'down' blogs are a help (you're not a fruit loop fitbird) You know how it is though, I've tried to stop talking about it all with my friends, as I'm sure they're sick of it, but I still need to talk about it. I wish my parents had given me a sibling, although they'd have probably shot me me by now! I went out with a couple of friends for a proper mountain bike ride today, and was concentrating so much on the riding, I stopped thinking about it for the first time in 3 months, hooray!! Plus I got an invitation for a night out in Liverpool, with a place to crash, bonus. Anyway Goodman, I promise not to disappear again, and Donnylass, I'll look out for you on the rollercoaster, 'cos I'm still on it with ya, and everyone else on here! See ya 'round Heath |
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saffy1968
said:
| August 25, 2008 | ||
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All I can say is take care Heath and keep blogging, I have just been catching up with reading the blogs as have been away on holiday. Im still on the rollercoaster also. Saffy xxx |
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