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Aug 16
2008
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This is the part of the week I hate, the WEEKEND!!! When everyone is happy family and it reminds me how sad and alone I am. Supermarkets full of families, today is the regatta - woop woop - loads families. This is where I get angry as he if filling his weekend and having great fun socialising whilst I at home broke, looking after kids and lonely.
I didn't blog yesterday as was cross. I have been excluded from his uncle's funeral. He is going up to his sisters the night before and then they travelling up from there. He hadn't even considered that after knowing the guy so many yrs I might want to go. He said don't make a drama out of it, I vented my anger, he backed down, I coulda forced my way to the funeral but it's not right. There would be an atmosphere and his aunt would feel it and that is wrong.
He texted me late Thursday night as he was upset but i was aleep so didn't pick it up till my usual 3am wide awake patch. He sent 3 texts and the last was was abusive as he wanted me to have replied to him. I sent a reply saying I had been asleep. In the morning I demanded an apology for abusive text, actually got one! He came over for supper last night (yeah before he went off to pub at 9pm), he was playing guitar hero with 15yr old whilst I was cooking (was cooking roast cos I am stupid and he had said he misses then as no point in doing them for just him). Daughter asked to go to her friends straight after dinner, so off she went (she would rather see friends than her dad as she is so cross with him). He stayed for an hour and we played guitar hero. Conversation is stilted, I just want to ask about barmaid and he doesn't know what to say to me. But it was nice to have him there, even kinda wished we could have curled up with dvd - wally me as just feeling sad and rejected as he wanted to go to pub (WAS SHE GOING TO BE THERE???).
Ugh enough pittiful waffling, going to try and find something to do now.
xxx
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Goodman01
said:
| August 16, 2008 | ||
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I hate the weekends that I dont do anything, so I make sure I have plans now, something to break up the day. Seeing families being families is hard, although for the last 2 years or so that I was still with the ex, she never got dressed on the weekend, so we went out on our own, I would often think that everyone would assume I was seperated anyway! Its been such a long time since I had a loving relationship that I have forgotten what it is like to have somebody to cuddle up to, when we were together I was so mad at her for being selfish and lazy, I couldnt bring myself to sit next to her let alone cuddle her! Anyway, I have the monsters again this weekend, so we are currently building camps using the sofa parts, much fun! GM |
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SteveLB
said:
| August 16, 2008 | ||
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Hi Claire You are right, weekends are times for the family. Can you plan weekend activities with the children or share in their activities.? Whilst he's chasing Barmaid he's not with the children experiencing the joy that they give watching then develop into fine young adults. He's missing out on this, your not. As was said in a previous comment Barmaids smell of stale beer All the best for the weekend Steve |
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