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Aug 14
2008
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Have been reading everyone's blogs and they all say that writing things down helps so thought i would give it a go.
Have to go to Court tomorrow to discuss more contact for my ex to have the kids. Have agreed that he can have them overnight every second weekend and on a Sunday on the intervening weekends on the condition that the tart he has been having an affair with is not there. He has agreed. Feel sick at the thought of my babies going away from my overnight.
Don't really know what else to say except that 4 months down the line I still cant get the images of him with another woman out of my head it makes me feel sick. I still feel like I am a married woman and don't feel at all single. I want to go out and start having fun again but I just don't feel like it. I don't think I am ever going to get over this and start living my life again. I can't believe that the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with was able to throw it all way so easily. I have even started to look things up on the internet about what attracts woman to married men and what makes men have affairs. I am actually starting to annoy myself. I am sure that all my friends are sick to death of listening to me going on and on about the same old crap day after day.
Anyway enough just now but I am sure there will be more to follow.
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sarah39
said:
| August 14, 2008 | ||
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I hope writing it down has helped you. When I first visited wiki, before I joined, I found it so hard to read the blogs. I was still in denial. I didn't want to believe I was in the same boat. Now I take great comfort in knowing the way I am feeling is very normal and that I'm not alone. It's also good to know that we can share stories, moan, cry, and laugh together and no one thinks "oh no, here she goes again!" I'm the only seperated person in my circle of friends. I think they must get so bored of hearing me moan about him or how I'm feeling, esp as I'm a year down the line. Here everyone knows that you have good days and bad days for years after. Like you, I too still feel married, not single, although that feeling is beginning to alter. I haven't yet agreed to our girls staying with their dad overnight as he is living with the home wrecking mistress. He took me to court to get more contact. He wanted them to stay weekends with him, but court agreed with me so now we have a court order saying kids not to have contact with her or her flat for three months, after which they will review! I'm dreading that, but have taken great comfort knowing that she can't play happy families with our children yet. I know how you feel about not wanting to have fun, not believing you ever will. It's the unfairness of it all. Why should we have to start all over again when we never left our marriages? I'm sure your husband will regret his actions. I know mine is, and I pretty sure the novelty of the new relationship is fading, but that's his problem not mine. Anyway - keep blogging, chat to people on here, we understand and don't ever get bored with listening and supporting. Life will get better - I promise. sarah xx |
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Petrof
said:
| August 15, 2008 | ||
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HI, i keep repeating myself too and I know that my friends and sons are fed up of it too. They did not go through all this pain and so they just can't understand that it takes a long time to get over it. My son said to his brother at the end of one of my bad days : I don't understand why she just cant move on. That is, I think, where this site really helps, you can discuss stuff that bothers you with others, who DO understand what it feels like, you can get it of your chest and most of the time somebody acknowledges your posts, so you do not feel alone. It helped me a lot and so I am trying to reply to others if I can, because if it helps me, it might help others too. . I think it is somehow reassuring and it helps you clear your mind. By looking at the issue from different points it helps you get used to the problem and gradually the pain seem to get weaker and weaker. At the moment I want to get used to my independence again, it is quite a change after 18 year long marriage. I am not thinking about having fun yet, I just want to be normal again, not to be consumed by this whole issue of his affair, walking out on our family, moving out with her, my children meeting with her etc. That is hard but I am getting there. At the end of the day, it is my turn now. I need to take care of myself now. I noticed that on my better days, my boys are just so happy to have the old me back and that is one of the best medicines. But i still have bad days and I understand very well your feelings. Petrof |
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Jollyrocket
said:
| August 15, 2008 | ||
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Hi there i feel the same. I knew he was out the other night and got upset at the imagined scenraio's. I have not had other women confimred but if my gut is anything to go by then I am sure!!! Having more good days in between bad days now, although found myself in tears in Tesco yesterday aving diffiucluty deciding on an pudding to take to a friends house today!! Rediculous!! Dont feel exactly married but dont feel single either. Glad to be out of his belittling ways (although still get some via email). Although its our anniversary today and kinda expected some acknowledgement, and yet didn't at the same time. i am letting them stay over some nights (2 nights this weekend) and was out with a friend for a few drinks last weekend, and felt weird and sad. Dont want to go back to that again, so felt half married half single again...weird. am sure this gets better for us, it is sad how they can just move on so quick to pastures new. I couldnt imagine being itimate with anyone - so how can they. I suppose thats why we still feel married. also feel everyone bored hearing my woes, worries and weeping.......even me!!!! xx |
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Mummyof2
said:
| August 18, 2008 | ||
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Thanks everyone, court went well and he has agreed that the b***h will have no contact with the children have to go back in October to review the situation and am hoping that before then we can both be adults and sit down and discuss what is best for the children. The first night they stay over with him is the night before my 30th so I have planned a big night out with my sisters and friends to take my mind off it. Keep everything crossed for me folks, lolxxx | |
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