Lunchtime feelings/Work rubbish

Well def felt much better this morning from having written it all down and thank you so much for all your wonderful comments.

 Work was a big of a nightmare, drove in with loud music so clear my head and was in perfect state of mind. 1st client great, 2nd was a no show but 3rd!!!!!!!! It was a 1st alcohol counselling appt and they had missed in the assesment the person was drinking again to get over the marriage  breakdown and they had just found out about an affair, this client was devasated and rock bottom, just where i was a few weeks ago. They was no way I should have been given this client as had to alcohol detox them as well, but no one's fault as this situation wasn't picked up in the assessment. As they were so low had to stay for the 50 mins but got someone in as well and they are reboked to see someone else next week. This out me on a bit if a downer as you realise just what people can do to each other. Had supervision after to offload. But still can't believe I had that client, but did good anyway with the person.

It's given me a huge headache though and Idiot still hasn't given me any news, but as i said this morning emotions are so all over the place I at this exact moment in time don't care, am too tired. I feel well just tired, almost dispondant. I would like to curl up in bed and sleep for the rest of the day. Also wondering if I will be excluded from the funeral as his family have all stopped talking to me - they don't know he stopped working at marriage to run off with a barmaid - they think I was horrid, made him sad and threw him out - his story - little do they know. Will deal with that when it happens, mustn't think about it now.

Got a friend coming over in a bit and I wish she wasn't as don't feel like talking to anyone at the mo. Have some research to carry on writing up and am also writing a piece on sexual health, drugs and blood bourne diseases (hep c/hiv) which needs finishing, that would be much better to do as it stops me thinking as have to concentrate. friend will want me to talk which will make me crabby and sad. Wish I had a brain stop thinking off switch wired in.

God i wish i had started doing this several weeks ago, it is so helpful to get it all out.

Clairexxx