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Aug 07
2008
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I dont know why, but whenever my day goes to pot - i write a blog. I just wish i had something good to write, maybe one day.
Went to the solicitors today, he handed me the papers that explained why my husband wants a divorce. Apparently I shout and try and control him. I almost feel bad that he has suffered me for 11 years. I mean, when i think about the times he said to me that i was his honey, and could'nt wait until our children had children and we could laugh at them trying to cope and all the times the boys would moan because they'd find us kissing or cuddling in the kitchen, or after a full week at work, i would work at the shop to give him a lay in - i mean life must have tough for him. the bit i liked the most is when he handed me the arrangements for the children. He wants them every other sunday from 10am until 6pm. thats it. 16 hours a month.
I have told my solicitor that he can have them every other weekend from friday to sunday, or every sunday, for him to take his pick. but I know he will refuse this, he has his social life to think of, and i know that he wanted me to refuse this access so he does not see the children.
I understand he does not love me anymore, i got the hint when he head butted me and broke my nose when i was holding our two year old daughter, but this is the so called man who called social services asking them to take the children from me because i was such a bad mum (which anyone who knows me would tell you how ridiculus this is) and the only access he wants is 16 hours a month.
I told the boys, i have found that if i give them a softer version of the truth they accept it, If i try and cover things up it makes them worry. I told them that i have given daddy a choice of decent access or no access, i dont want in years to come for him to tell them that i stopped him seeing them, but i also dont want them to feel second best. Ive also told them that when the divorce is over, hopefully after christmas we are moving back home. My home. the only reason i was staying here in derbyshire was so that the kids could stay at their school and they could have regular contact with their 'fantastic' father. We need a clean brake, all of us. we need to draw a line and move on. My dad said to me that the children will have the life that i give them. I swear i will do my best because i love them more than anything and i will never leave them, ever.
I wonder if he ever will regret this, i wonder if he will ever realise what he has lost? but most of all i wonder if the kids will remember that daddy loved them.
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crazylady
said:
| August 07, 2008 | ||
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((((lilybel)). You and your children will have a better life without this man.Anyman who can hit a woman does not deserve any respesct. I am sure one day he will regret this,you reap what you sow! Take care,you are amongst friends here. CL xx |
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gareth67
said:
| August 08, 2008 | ||
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Hi Lily, I think the answer to this is, he won't regret his actions, doesn't seem like the type of person that ever would. He is the one that is going to miss out in the long run, 16 hours a month what a wa**er, does he not understand the kids needs and wants? A clean break and move away is good, but manage the message with the kids as it could get twisted. Good luck and if he does hit you again, get an injunction out against him and tell the kids the grim truth, you should not stand for any of that, he is just a coward and should be seen as one. Keep smiling Gareth |
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phoenix1
said:
| August 08, 2008 | ||
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Once again I find myself using the line '' I'm embarrassed to be a man'' How on earth can a man hit a women is beyond me, especially when she is holding their child ! These are the actions of a coward, a cruel man, and a ****** . You are so better off without him, you might not realise it at the moment but believe me you are. You call him a father, Well nearly every man can father a child but it's a special man who becomes a dad and I wish you all the best for a happy future and I hope one day you will find a man who only hits you with his love. It's also not about what he's lost, it's about what you will gain in the future. Take care Phoenix1 |
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lyndamac
said:
| August 29, 2008 | ||
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lilybel, once some1 hits you there is no going back . You describe a certain type of ... I leave out the word man because he is not 1 .Research says after 2years the violent man disappears gives up contact. The social services trick is to destroy you ,also he intends to avoid his responsibility of paying towards the children. My ex nearly had heart failure in court: my barrister said" he does not want him" I know I replied he wants him in care ,also they want to destroy you . My son has lived for 2 years now in his house with his wife. I feel nothing when I passed his wife in a taxi as she drove up to the school to pick our son up who I was sole carer of all of his life. I could say she is a mug for believing all the lies . Now I am letting him. spend the best years of his life having a relationship with a child he did not give a damn about if he was fed or not .Previously I had to take him to court for money he owed me, Later he rang SS up on the 7/5/2004 and said I had not fed him. Our son will soon found out the lies and the risks the courts took with this placement. I do not need to warn you as you are clued up and child focused already.Some mothers are not so lucky,The academics know now who we are living mothers dead women walking without contact.The abusive father does have rights in closed court, they have in certain cases took priority over the child's rights to be safe. Prior to all of this court case my son had a good life he was old enough to know what was going on at the time.It will be possible to have a good life with your children sooner than you think.The children grow up quick and they will know which way to go . There is hope for you goodluck Best wishes Lyndamac x |
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