Well, I am doing better today. I wallowed a bit yesterday, flopped in front of the tv, then I thought that I could sort out my paperwork - school letters, and papers for the honorary position I hold. So I ferreted out the papers from the various places I keep them, and spread them over the floor of the lounge. I was really surprised to see how badly I had let things go. I think I may have been drifting down for a while. I began sorting the papers out, and though I didn't finish, thet felt good. And today I have been busy, moving, gardening, cleaning, and perparing the ceiling to be painted.

I was doing so well, building a future for myself - but I seem to have hit a brick wall, and find myself back almost at the beginning, and I don't know why.

Well, I know that I was dreading the first anniversary of K leaving on 26 April - it was looming over me like a storm cloud.  But I didn't expect this dragging despair, and I expected it to be much like the anniversary of K telling me he was leaving on 5 March - on my mind - examined - but not much of a challenge. I don't even know if the low I am experiencing is to do with the anniversary of not. I just feel useless, unloved and

Hello blog,

Glad to say I have been doing better of late it seemed (based on last blog) that my enforced break did some good and I was able to regroup. I can tell when I feeling better I can feel I enjoy the radio I hear the songs and enjoy them so a good sign. I feel I am thinking clearly again.

The house move went ok and in fact the move may well turn out to a positive one for me (as was pointed out by wiki peep). Getting my full deposit back from the old place so good news there.

I also wanted to thank wiki friends for the support and encouragement I have received which has helped me to