My first court appearance is approaching. Not soon enough, though.

 I was hoping that something will be resolved on the first court appearance.

I am sick with worry.

ex does not contribute. whenever he feels like it, he pays but only a fraction of the cost of living. yet he has enough money to spend on other people and pay for things we do not need.

i was hoping for some kind of judgement. I want something. at least so i don't struggle this much. at least some help. something. anything. i can't bare thinking that this will drag on even more. how am i going to manage. i have nothing worthwhile to

I have come to a point in my life that I require closure.  I need to move on with my life and by doing this has given me the strength to carry on.

 My heart and my head have taken a battering over ... well as long as I can remember by a certain man who does not deserve my loyalty, my respect and above all my .... and dare I say it.  Yes, I think I might have felt that way towards him.  Can you even imagine how I would have felt if that had happened?

 Just seeing his name and I see it everywhere, is enough to make me run for cover and I do not want to feel like that anymore and I do not want to

Avbsolutly shattered moved into new place on Friday - having the boys the inevening  meant making their room ready first ( finished building bunk beds at 10pm). They were schattered because it was the end of their first week at school.

Tried to sleep on sofa but didn't work so built my bed and continued working to 4 am.

Saturday morning did a pit of shopping. Whilst shopping got a phone call from (ex) brother in law - he was going to siphon off the last of the heating oil (which was agreed), but was kinda helping himself to other timgs in the garden, but put them back when I said I wanted them.