I went to see my sister yesterday and had a good long chat with her, and her OH was there too who I'm fairly close to too. That was really helpful, especially getting a male perspective.

I was telling her about the "breakup speech" which I'm really wary to actually do, so we were talking about exactly what to say, how he might respond, what I should do after (cos I feel I want to flounce off in a whoosh!) etc etc. He said it's probably worth giving him the divorce papers there and then, otherwise what am I saying? I want to divorce you but I'm doing nothing about it? It's not like I'm looking

This is probably going to be the hardest part of my recovery. He's gone. He's gone out of my life without a backward glance.  So many years and memories meaning so much to me but so little to him and for the first time in over 20 years I don't know where he is tonight. The cynic in me says there must have been many other nights when he wasn't where he'd told me he was but I didn't know.

I panicked the other day because I couldn't remember his face. I could only see the photograph of us on holiday in Paris. When I put my head on the pillow to sleep, there he was. I could see his face so

Well can't believe it will be 2 years in July since I found out "that news". It has made me realise that time passes so quickly and that indeed it is so precious. Had a few bumpy times in the past year and I'm in no way out of the woods yet but glad 2009 is in the past and I can look forward with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Out of the darkness came alot of light and a true light that shines in my life now is one amazing man who I swear I will love forever. One other light is my very true friend Smithy who I just adore and thank God for and I have so many lovely friends who I