Firstly, thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read and comment on my previous blog - you have given me much needed strength and determination.

The last few days have seen me sink into the depths of dispair, last night I fell asleep with tears running down my face, my last waking thought was "I can not fail my children". I awoke feeling an inner strength that Ive not felt for quite some time. So what if he wants to prove Im uncapable of coping, of being a mother?! Bring it on, matey, this lioness isnt afraid to roar and do what it takes to keep being the constant in thier lives. I

Well it's nearly crunch time, for those of you that know my situation I had my first court date at the beginning of the month and as expected sentencing was deferred for background reports. I'm due back in court on the 4th of March so rushing around trying to get things covered in case I get a custodial sentence and my stbx and I seem to disagree on what to tell the kids (5 & 9 years old).

 Several weeks ago we agreed that we'd have to tell them  that I'd done something stupid at work and as a punishment I might have to go to jail. My stbx was away this weekend and this has really been on my

if you have read my other posts you will see i have been trying to leave for a while now, each time i do, i get all set up to go, i put an application in for a house, i order new furniture, i make lists of what i'm taking etc. i feel like finally i'm doing it, finally i'm getting out of this situation, i go to bed happy and eager to get my new life started. then i wake up in tears, i cry all day, i can't leave, so i turn down the house, i cancel all the furniture, and the day after that i'm feeling all down. down, because i knew i shouldn't have cancelled everything. because i know deep down