It is amazing how life moves on, how our emotions change as time goes by. At the end of August I  got my Dicri Nisi, I took this very hard when I saw this bit of paper stamped by the court looking all offical. I had moments of terrible grief even though I have known our marriage has been over for a while.

I have had moments of hardly being able to stand up and thinking any minute now I am going to have a heart attack or a stroke as the pain of loosing him engulfed me. I have considered driving my car of the edge of a cliff or other thaughts of suicide, I have seen myself as worthless,

im not in a bad place

have joint custody with my kids  got promoted at work opened my self to new experences met a really nice girl who is really into me and doing more with my life than ever before  .... so why after all this good stuff going on in my life 

do i still miss her my ex more than ever  and i really wish i didnt

time is a healer and i should be really positive about my new life .... does it get better i dont think so 

i still long for my wife and family life and i really do miss her soooo