The weather is improving.

I have spent a lovely day in Chester visiting my eldest son.

I am spending last night and tonight staying with my sister.

I am surrounded by loving family and friends-yet the only person I would like to be with at this moment in time is my stbx-mad or what?

I am tormenting myself with thoughts of him and his new lady-we are so different. She is 10yrs younger, Indian and a size 8. I can't compete with any of those factors. More important to him tho I think, is that she too is a recovering alcoholic. I definitely can't compete with that, it's almost the trump card!!!!

I

im angry......angry angry angry..........

ive had a leaking radiator and a prob with the boiler, had to have the gas man out twice since thursday...i was in contact with "him" on thursday afternoon via email...and i said i couldnt speak as gas man here and as above...

we were also supposed to be seeing each other either last night or tonight..i did txt him and say i could see him tonight - this was thursday but he hasnt come back to me.  (he did say prev due to some really bad news he wasnt up for going out friday night)

however i saw a friend today who said she bumped into "him" last night and

Well I have got home from work and everyone is now away until monday, dogs as well.  I knew they were going but it still seems really quiet without anyone here.

It seems odd really that so often all you seek is some time for yourself but when it comes it seems so lonely.  I had planned to take off with the dogs for a long walk tomorrow but now I don't really know what to do.  Think I will still go for the walk  or perhaps a bike ride via a good pub for lunch.

Have now finished all the jobs - car cleaned (cheated with the car wash), lawn mowed, washing done - still to be ironed. Managed a quick