I feel like I could take on the world at this moment in time. I will try to hang on to this feeling in my memory, when time passes + the feelings of fear + misery return as they no doubt will at some point.

I had a wonderful relaxing day at Champneys on Friday- anyone (men + women) who ever gets the chance to go, take it. My daughter + I made a pact not to mention b*****d + we stuck to it. We both felt totally relaxed + the day seemed to go on for ever. I had been so frightened that it would fly by.

We had a lovely day wandering round the shops yesterday + then went for a delicious Thai meal

When you're in the middle of turbulence like this, nothing is straightforward.  Even a question like "how do you feel" is too much.  I don't know how I feel.  I have every emotion under the sun running through my mind at the same time.  I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm bitter, I'm hurt, I'm strong, I'm vulnerable.  I really don't know how the hell I am, and how I feel now ain't going to be how I feel in five minutes or maybe ten seconds.  So I bury all the emotions and I don't feel anything, it's easier that way.  Or so I tell myself. 

But that's not what I wanted to say today.  When you

My blogs are becoming further and further apart.I am not sure if this is a good thing or not.

At the begining of my journey I was so wrapped up in the moment.The worries of what will be, the loss of my wife partner and my daughter.

I would say that I have come to some sort of understanding in myself and of my situation. We can all keep on being angry and hateful with others and ourselves for things that have happen. But at sometime we have to move on.   

Most of us have never been alone,phisically or mentally since the day we were born.There has been for most of us, somebody beside us, to talk