I just want it to end!

All the the time, going around my head.  When will I accept both of us were to blame?

She felt undervalued, I felt undervalued, WE UNDERVALUED EACH OTHER!

But my brain keeps looking back for the time when it could have been saved, if I'd done that, if she'd done this.  But there were reasons we didn't do those things, but my brain won't accept it.

I still can't believe this is happening, I want it to all to go away.

It shouldn't be like this, will I ever reconcile it?  I feel I've lost the most important thing over petty

 

Hi blog..

couldnt sleep any longer, had v wierd dreams last night !! all about the holiday people I met, at this moment in time I cant remember much but no doubt during the course of the day things will come to mind....

so im up, i'm on my 3rd load of washing (holiday washing ) thank god its only a 30 wash !! hehe, saving the planet and all that..

so my holiday, well in the end I really didnt want to come back and face all the shit thats here, well not here as he's not here but you know what I mean. The place I stayed, with 18 other people was heavenly. I will put some pics on, going to have

Sounds a cliche but I never thought this would be happening to me! Im new tothis lark so please bare with me. The saga of my marriage and the pain of its ending seem to be obliterating all I loved and cared for in and about my husband. And I desperately dont want this to be the case - I dont want the end to mar 18 years of best friends, 15 years of marriage and affect our 3 children (although I am not too niave to know that it will undoubtably affect them.) I dont want my marriage to end and I guess Im at the begining of the process of accepting this - as the joke goes I am in Egypt in D'