Sorry, this may be in poor taste as so many people are on here because they are going through hell. Believe me, I have had my share of hell and it is by no means over, but today I feel I can deal with anything and everything.

I am still smiling, despite my solicitor being evasive and not doing my statement for my contested interim contact hearing which was supposed to be lodged with the court yesterday. What can I do? I guess being legally aided you just have to get in line with all the other poor buggers who can't afford to pay their legal fees because they are stay at home mums looking after

Bl**dy computer just threw me off when I'd nearly finished writing so I've got to start all over again! Oh well, here goes!

Hubby came home last night to talk to son about the trouble he has got in, dont know if he said much different to what has already been said but at least he has tried. I didn't get in from work till about 11.30 as we had a busy shift and he had made his bed on the sofa by then. Exchanged a few calm, polite sentences before I went to bed. Felt like I really wished it was like when he was a different person but know it won't be. Woke as he was leaving this morning, he said

He might be coming round tonight. When I got home this morning he had put a note through my door saying he did not want to try again because he could not face the pain. I phoned him and we spoke on phone for an hour and a half it was very emotional and upsetting he didn't say no but just he had felt so much pain and had loved me so much he needed to think of himself now. I did ask if he would come to relate with me and at first he said yes but then said no he didnt think he needed to. I asked if we could meet face to face tonight when I will be home alone and he said he would try to make