What have I done?

 Last night it seemed like a good idea. In the cold light of day, I'm not so sure.

I have had no contact from stbx since I told him I had changed the locks-his mail is piling up-tho nothing from his sol, so they have obviously heeded my sols request + have found another way of contacting him.

 Last night I decided it would be sensible to try + move this fiasco of a situation along a bit. I texted b*****d + suggested we meet up today, as I am on annual leave + he manages to disappear from work with ease. However he said he couldn't meet in the day, but could do 5.00ish. Getting

Attended the 2nd session of the Freedom Programme this morning; titled "The Bad Father".

I have for so long tried to deny that I have lived in an abusive marriage for 11 years because I hate to think that I wasn't a strong enough person to recognise what my then husband was putting me and the children through.

What sort of woman stays in a relationship where she is so worthless she commands no respect from the man who loves her? Why did I keep bringing children into an environment where they would be abused? If I deny that the abuse took place then maybe I won't have put my children through a

Now I am in this months top 5.  How did that happen?  I guess it is good, must be waffling on too much but not quite as much as Gareth!!! (Only joking gareth)

But I have to agree with others it is strangely theraputic to write things down and get it off your mind sometimes and with others replying - usually with helpful comments and ideas, it really works.

Not much of interest today, just a usual busy Monday.  stbx confused as I put on a smart shirt and tie.  Thinks I must be meeting someone important and shes dying to know who.  The truth is that it was the first shirt to hand and as I haven't