Today, in between cooking dinner, washing clothes and cleaning the kitchen, I managed to spend a little time watching a film with my kids.  The film was quite good.  In a different time and a different place, I would have found it amusing and uplifting.  Sadly I found myself identifying with the character in the film and it just reinforced my feelings of hopelessness.

The film was "50 first dates" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.  For those not familiar with the film, Drew Barrymore is the victim of an accident who has lost her short-term memory and Adam Sandler is the fickle womaniser

Ok so another sleepless night.  Think I know more about what's on tv in the early hours than what is shown in the daytime!

Up at 6am for shower, get kids dressed, breakfast and out to their respective childcare - the 2 eldest it's the breakfast club at school, the youngest is at a childminders.  Felt really low, and think my 3 year old picked up on it as he cried when I left him which is not something which he normally does.  Made me feel awful all the way to work.  So as well as all the depressing thoughts of money, bills divorce etc., I felt guilty about my baby.

To make matters worse traffic

  As some of you resident readers may have noticed I've not been in much of late so just letting you know that I'm still around.

Why the hell do I let myself get into these emotions, I should after all these years be able to control it but with each lie that comes out and I have to prove it false, its getting me down, each time I prove its false another lie comes out even more outrageous; are judges really so stupidly blind that they will just about believe anything put it front of them. I'm not going to go on about what the X has done, does or doesn't deserve I know I'm wasting my time, the