This evening's feeling = Empty

So, X2B's out with her boyfriend tonight, she was obviously very nervous about telling me. I can always tell, she rambles on and on about stuff. Silly really, I've told her many times that I don't mind when / how often she sees him as long as they don't have sex until we actually separate. I'm sure they are not doing so, at least for the moment.

We're talking about finances tomorrow whilst the small person is at a friends house. I think it will go well, I think she understands more now that I am not trying to stiff her out of money. We'll find out tomorrow.

So

Today's feeling = So-so

Had discussions with the X2B yesterday about the financial side which were a bit strained. also sorted separate bank and mobile phone accounts. Still a bit surreal to me if I'm honest.

Then in the evening I had a bad time. I think the poor financial situation that we will both be in finally became real and I had a mild panic attack. I say mild because I've not had one before so don't really know what they are supposed to feel like. Thanksfully, X2B and I talked a few more things through and I felt a bit better.

Sleep still broken but at least I am finding it easier

X2B called earlier this week to ask the girls if they would like to spend this Saturday with him and have a sleep over too.

Youngest jumped at the chance..eldest got into a right state..

So in the end we all sat an argued and argued and argued.

But in the end it was agreed they would go.

Next day a birthday invite arrives for the youngest..for the same Saturday.

Eldest comes home from school with an invite to go shopping with her mate that same Saturday too.

So we argued and argued and argued.

In the end I called X2B to explain the situation and suggested that I drop the girls off Saturday early