I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me this way'.......

the hurt - the anger - the sadness - the confusion -

who am I?...where am I going?.......what will I do?......

will this ever

Thought things would of got easier by now but they are still the same.Been without him now for 25 months divorced decree absolute since oct 06.I proberbly have guilt about my children , My children have been through so much last few years with their father's violent behaviour towards me.I had no choice but to leave all my friends and family behind and move 300 miles away early last yr as he was still abusive towards me after i asked him to leave . it was awful being in a womans refuge and a homeless unit.We were then given a house we had an inflatable mattress on bare floorboards the house

That's how I'd describe this week.It was payday-thank god-so that lets me breathe a sigh of relief.Then I had a two day PG sandwich course start with a residential and 2 days study--al courtesy of the authority.Lovely hotel ,food etc for free.It felt like a holiday.I also met a lot of great new people that,no doubt,I will keep in touch with throughout the 2 years.

Another night out tonight at colleagues retiral 'do'.Great!! And a 'pudding and wine party' tomorrow night.My God...what a social whirl I live.I won't have time for this weekends wikiparty with handbags!!! Looking forwards to the