I am so angry at the moment. The court changed my court date because of backlog 3 months ago because of backlog?????????They need to improve. Only thing is I asked for a change of date because of a family member dying. They said no.How can this compare to a change because they cant control backlog. STBX not paid a penny 18 months now and I have decided to stop paying bills as he refuses to respond to solicitor letters/ comply court information dates. He wants all equity but has never paid any money and never a mortgage payment 7 years.He has screwed my credit rating. Enough is enough.Not

At first I felt sick, lost. The world wasn't as I thought it was. It had to be my fault. I'd been told that often enough.

I couldn't sleep and then I slept too much. Day and night dissolved into nightmare. I tried to plan the future and, however I did the sums, I couldn't afford it.

The lawyer made it less exceptional. I was angry now. I couldn't forgive the cruelty, lies, deceptions that lasted years, the way I was always held to blame. (Was I to blame?, I asked myself and somewhere, in the back of my mind, I thought it was all my fault.)

Worst of all was seeing the children, whitely

Well that's it, consent order on the way, decree absolute to follow, freedom from that trailer trash bitch from hell at last, but at what price?

Emotionally I am bedraggled, mentally I am drained, and financially I am brassick.

After enduring the worst 20 months of my entire life, why am I not filled with glee that its over?

Some people compare the financial side to a game of poker but I would say its more Deal or no Deal. Which is all well and good if you have no money in the first place and are not gambling with anything you already have, but when you are gambling with your own pot, its