Just to say a thank you to those who wished me luck for yesterday 14th Nov for my FDR hearing, i woke up feeling nervous i could'nt eat a thing, my dad drove me to court we had to drive past it.There walking in was tweedle dee and tweedle dum how she dolled herself up to be sitting in a waiting room awwww.I refused to sit in the public waiting room with them so i had the side room, my barrister joined me and we went over a few things, my ex called my barrister outside and handed him a new Form E he had swore that morning, we had a breif look over it , in there are letter's to the CSA he

Ok I know if we did not live in silence we would be shouting at each other, but the silence is deafening!!

So much still needs to be said, to be sorted. Neither one of us can even look at each other without hatred in our eyes let alone hold down more than two words ot each other. The emails have even stopped.

Living in the same home is bearable because the house is big enough to accomadate us all with spare living space and bedrooms. so we do not even have to see each other on day to day tasks. The children are of course in the middle of it all in the family home which to them just appears that

well today has been hard.I have felt so depressed,I have another appointment for my heart consultant in Cambridge and cannot face it alone.s2BX has informed me he can't take the time off work to drive me from essex to cambridge, so that will mean I have to take the coach and a bus, and that will add 2 hours onto my journey.I have never been there alone before and with all the tests etc I have to have wanted to arrive not stressed which I know the journey now will be. Tried all my family and no one is willing to take time off work, or drive me there.Also I took a call from the gym that 'we'