Slept great last night – all the way through til morning.

Hubby and son away for a couple of nights, so I have the house to myself more or less, and time alone to think without just trying to think of ways of avoiding being in the same room as him. This is how it has been for the past couple of weeks.

The finance stuff still has me stumped – I really don’t want to have to give up the house, the kids grew up here and it’s been home for 21 years, so I could give him all our savings, £70,000, but then what to live on? It’s a dilema and I guess theres not a lot I can do about that at the

Well - my first ever blog and it has to be about separation.

What can I say after 28 years of marriage plus 3 years of living togther, its all going tits up!

It all started two and a half weeks ago, well the crisis did obviously loads going on before that, that I know now.

Monday 9th July.

I find a receipt for hotel accomodation (April2007) - one double room booked in the name of my husband and his training partner(woman) - both Marathon runners and friends for some years. They would go to marathons together, sometimes with other runners of their group.

I'm reading this back now and

The kids are back today and it was like having a part of me returned! They seem to have managed ok but, as expected , despite his promises, he didn't spend any alone time with them. My son says they kissed so much he actually asked them not to in front of the kids. My ex told him to forget it! He amazes me with his selfishness. My doctor has said it is a part of the drinking heavily but it still amazes me. If i could walk away with no more contact it would be wonderful but i know that i need his money at least until the kids have grown up. Then i can be independant of him. I missed the kids