OK so my x2b now has my written offer. Why write it? I'm so unsure of what she has been telling her solicitor I want her to take it to today's appointment so that he at least knows what I am offering and my reasoning. Also what I want in return (clean break etc).

 She has been talking about backing out and maybe that's in my interest too, but it just puts off the day for a few years so why not get on with it? Anyway how does she think she's going to get any money out of me unless she divorces or non-contests me divorcing her. She's the one who says she wants money fast, but she's so used to

Divorce is a mountain to climb. Various people on this site are at the peak, others at the first stage of climbing or the foothills. I'm not even at base camp yet. Climbing, like divorce,  generally takes at least two people. They may despise each other and have completely different values, but unless they co-operate for the duration of the task it will be a very rocky journey indeed. The more experienced go first and there they are, the Sherpa Tensings and Edmund Hilarys of divorce way up, but coming back to meet us half way and lend experience with the guide ropes or the

So very tired today,

tired of not being able to sleep or eat,

tired of feeling sorry for myself,

tired of feeling all this rage and bitteness,

tired of feeling betrayed,

tired of my husband explaining to me for the fiftieth time that they are just good friends even though they have slept together for three nights, at least!

tired of my husband asking me why he shouldn’t continue seeing her

tired of starting to feel hatred for a man who I have lived with for 30 years,

tired of these thoughts churning around in my head forever

tired of pretending everything is fine around the