Exhibiting signs of stress EPO

Exhibiting signs of stress EPO

My barrister took one look at me when I first arrived in court she said you are not mentally ill. Someone is now suggesting that I might be.

I have always been very aware of my surroundings and what is going on around me, I have had to be pretty much on the ball coming from a retail background for many years dealing with the general public on a shop floor, or managing a bar in a public house.

I noticed when sitting for hours in the waiting room the talk from other groups in the court corridors.

Then later on I would see the other women were in bits.  . Some had with them their mothers holding them up virtually in the ladies toilets , the women were crying in disbelief they had lost ,I kept my eyes on the other women in court and my ears open in too.

I observed all around me respectable women crying their hearts out what must be wrong I thought? There was 1  young black lady on her own , she was seen to  be later  carried out of court by a group of people, it shocked me to see her in such a state. She was not, going to prison in a van, it was something else.

They had all lost their children, the doors opened up from the court room and out came these noises, cries from mothers mostly.

 The fathers had been given full custody. Well dressed attractive women no CRB losing their beautiful children. Later on in our cases some of the other mothers we never even got decent contact.

I say our cases because there are many of us now.

The circumstances leading up to a consultant taking out an EPO for a mother exhibiting signs of stress……………

 The 2^nd day 27^th April 2004 in the L& D hospital I was shocked to find out my child at cancer I slid down the wall, I walked away to the coffee room the doctor came after me, he asked me if I was alright? I had my back to him washing my hands I was drying them now.

I said no, this is too much, it is too much loss to take in .I am an only child I lost my father to cancer ,also my mother.

 I read later on in medical bundles my ex-partner rang up SS also the consultant at Addenbrookes hospital said “she the mother “has a history of mental health problems”.

My so, called mental capacity had no prior concerns documented in the past held on record within any of the multi-agency findings. There were NO  concerns , this  was something else I remember my barrister saying “I am glad there are no prior concerns about the care of C “, there was nothing whatsoever on file about my care of our son held on record in data to warrant any referral to SS.

Moving on the school had no concerns either the head never liked me this is true.

The lack of understanding from the head teacher, also my ex-partners family just added to all of the stress, I asked my friend Catherine to ring up the school for me she did this, as I just did not have enough time in the day. As soon as the mobile was switched on it was jammed with callers from Liverpool and texts messages from people.

Later this request would be used against me in court

I had to move hospital bays in hospital so many times I lost track and belongings. I would just unpack what few bits we had and then I had to pack up again to go to ICU for C to be given fluids to protect his kidneys/organs from the medication he was about to receive with chemotherapy.

The doctor was patient I can not tell you how long it took to do this procedure, the play leader was blowing bubbles and distracting my son, as he was so scared and crying none stop as the blood trickled now down his arm, as the doctor tried all the afternoon  to feed a small plastic tube a line in through an incision up his arm and fed it up into the shoulder or as near to the chest area.

The tumour on C’s left side of his chest, meant that, he could also not be put under for this procedure.

Then later on  for a lumber puncture, this had to be done whilst he was awake too, nothing prepared us for this.

The doctor asked me what the other doctor asked me “are you alright”?

  I am not sleeping much now at all now, you do not have time, or the money to eat either. You are lucky to find time to shower too.  I I dare not sleep just in case C  dies in the night, laying down is more of a problem for him at night time as the tumour is so large it is pressing on his other organs .

My friend Aiden is  going to come in to take over from me  a shift at night time he said I need a break.

The sister in charge of ICU insisted on calling the security guard to now walk me over to Acorn house as it is not safe , however the CCTV is everywhere on site. They have found me a room there we are not going anywhere for over a month we have to live in a house with other families. I get a wash I get in bed and then find myself walking back over to the ICO unit in the middle of the night on my own no security guard.

Some parents are collapsing ill themselves whilst living on site. I am next in line to be carted off to A & E. Just maybe now some of the so called professionals will have insight as to how difficult life can be for parents living this nightmare.