The beginning

So what is a blog? I've never done one. This will be a diary,and an outpouring, starting with my week.

Sunday:H picked an argument.Sorry,but you boys have a great way of turning something around totally to deflect from the real issue. I feel that I am justified in being ticked off,but then so does he. He went to bed at 8pm,sulking.I followed,and slept.

Monday:H left for work,didn't speak.All day.Ho Hum,so that's how it's going to be.Tuesday: catalyst day.Had almighty row with daughter 14yrs,but that's normal.She's got teenage-itis.Rings daddy,x-hundreds of miles away.Daddy furious with mummy.Daughter goes to friend for the night,at H's suggestion,say's he's coming home (not due 'till friday) Mummy feels rather ill at thought (understatement,mummy suicidal.) Thank heavens for friends.Also discovered this site.Thank heavens again.For those of you who put up with my wailings on day 1,2 and 3 Thank you so much,I'm sorry it's all here again,but this is for ME. H didn't come home.Didn't ring..daughter very frosty. Wednesday: did nothing I should have done.Who cares? Daughter thawing,very,very slightly.H came home.Did not utter one word to me,very lovey,lovey with daughter.Of course.Went for a long walk in the woods.Anything that makes me feel that bad has got to be good for me.I'll take the dog tomorrow.We did sleep in same bed.Well,there was something snoring on other side when I got in,and I didn't notice millionaire toyboy sneak in! Thursday: H left for work.Still silent treatment.I'm actually getting more ticked off.Good, or bad? Discovered what a chat room was.Wow! This is what I've been warning my daughter against for most of her short life.I am brave, no pervs,just nice people,who let me wail,and then give me support and a virtual kick up the backside.Took dog on same walk.The eleven year old post-op beagle is fitter than me....the shame of it!She ran,I puffed.Like everything,it will get easier.Daughter informs me at 7pm H is not coming home tonight.I have a glass of wine.At the moment I have decided when H is home,alcohol is definitely off limits.Nothing I say will be remotely tainted by dutch courage.I sleep well,which is more than can be said for daughter. Friday: daughter has been up since 4am, the storms outside give perfect excuse for her insomnia.I think I can identify the real cause.At 7am she falls into deep sleep in my bed,so I leave her.If someone is that emotionally wrung out and needs to sleep until 2pm,school can wait. A definite thawing today,we actually shared a joke,and she let me help with some revision.We ate together.I went to sainsbury's.Missed my walk today.More important I stayed home,I thought. H phoned her,said he'd be home 7pm. Duly arrived 8.30pm.I offered food, in the oven.After all, had been ready for 7pm. H declined. Then got changed and took daughter to local pub to play pool. Still no word to me. I think somehow this weekend will not be the greatest I've had? In exactly seven days we are supposed to be going on rather a nice holiday............watch this space!

I am going to try and keep this log/blog/diary because I think I may need to put things in context later. The only thing that worries me, what happens if H discovers the site and reads my blog? He will SO identify me. Well, if you are reading this sweetheart, I think we both know the writing has been on the wall for a long time. No one else knows who I am, so for the sake of our daughter's sanity,let's try and get this sorted as cleanly as possible.